sometimes you make me feel so special like i'm a beautiful creature in front of your pale blue eyes and like you'll hold me and never let me go
but sometimes you make me feel like i'm at fault for things i'm not even aware of like my own emotions and the way i bottle things up until the stopper on the top pops off and everyone can see every part of my poisoned brain and my horrible thoughts
you make me feel so loved when you touch my hips or when you poke my cheeks or when we play with each other's hands not even a care in the world and sometimes i wonder if you taste like honey or maybe strawberry
what if you taste like anything but sweet
there's an idea in my brain that tells me that you think i'm toxic and you hate holding my hand on your thigh and that you hate when i stare at your beautiful eyes and your long eyelashes and study your constellation freckles because they're all i can think about
i hate feeling like i mean nothing to you and like i'm just a bother that you don't like dealing with like i'm some kind of plague that's stuck to your soft skin that's slowly ruining your insides and outsides and slowly i'll ruin you
i don't want to ruin you i want to do anything but that
but i can't help it.
