Running From Yourself

The Sleep Walker

God it's freezing out here.

I had night watch tonight, although technically it's the middle of the day. The sun was shining, reflecting brightly off the snow. I couldn't help admiring how beautiful it looked in the morning. I bet Rose would look ten times better right now.

I nearly stopped in my tracks. I shouldn't be thinking about her like that. She's a student and not just any student, but my student. I've been training her since I brought her and the princess back from Portland. They had ran away two years prior and in my opinion were doing quite well on their own. I could never tell anyone I thought that. Princess Vasilisa Dragomir was the last of her blood line and should not- could not be risked so carelessly.

Rose's determination to protect Vasilisa when she thought I was going to harm her was respectable. She ran straight at me ready to put up a fight. With the look on her face you would have thought that she could have killed me then and there. Try as she might though, when it came down to it, she and the princess were hauled back to the Academy. She's still fighting. Every rule, every person of authority, everything. It's beautiful. She is beautiful.

I froze mid-step. I almost missed it, distracted by my train of thought which was long gone now. There is was again. A crunch in the snow from a slightly misplaced step. I had my stake out, tensed for whatever fight laid in my wake. I walked silently around the corner of the building, stake at the ready, when I saw the all too familiar combination of dark brown- almost black hair and tanned skin. Speak of the devil.

"Are you sleepwalking?"

Rose spun around settling into a defensive stance, which she dropped as soon as she saw it was me. Her hair was a mass of curls tangled together. I tried not to laugh as she hastily ran her hand through it.

"No, I was testing dorm security. It sucks!" The easy smile I tended to get around her turned into a frown when I saw her trying not to shiver. The sun might be shining but it felt like we were in an ice rink.

"You must be freezing." I started taking off my coat to give to her.

She waved my offer away while hugging herself. Even though it's 20 degrees outside Rose Hathaway is too prideful to admit to being cold.

"What are you doing out here? Are you testing the sucky security too?"

"I am security. This is my watch."

She broke out into laughter which faded quickly as she got a strange glint in her eyes, "Well, good work. I'm glad I was able to test your awesome skills with mine, but I should really get going," she started to turn away.

"Get going where?" She kept walking,

"Rose!" Now she was just ignoring me. "Where are you going?" This is getting old.

When I got about thirty feet away from her I saw that she was kind of stumbling as she walked.

Twenty feet away I saw her shoulders shaking.

Ten feet away I heard quiet sobs.

"Rose, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Turn around, look at me, Rose."

"I'm not crying, Comrade. Jesus, I had no idea you thought I was turning soft," she still hadn't turned around.

A joke. That's how she covers up being upset. I reached out, found her hand and made her face me. My concerned eyes met her red-rimmed ones. I've never seen a person try so hard to stop crying in their life.

She was so strong. So, so strong and put together it was baffling. But even she couldn't hold the wait of the world all by herself, which is what everyone expects of her.