Paternal and Proud [LAMS Short Story]

I - In Denial and Infuriated

Frances Laurens hated Philip Hamilton. Definitely not in an irrational way, either, even though she couldn't point her finger on exactly what she hated about him.

Maybe it was his smile, which was always gracing his face, bright and beaming like the sun. It just wasn't natural to be smiling all the damn time like that. Just because he was smiling all the time didn't mean he was happy all the time. How could someone be happy all the time? The only explanation was that he was just plain fake.

Or maybe it was his popularity. Maybe it was the friends who always surrounded him. They were probably fake too. He probably had one of those cliques where they pretend to be the perfect squad of friends who do everything together, when in reality they all hate each other.

Or could it be his pride? He had come out as bisexual in seventh grade and flaunted it, obnoxiously, ever since - flirting with everyone, wearing pink, purple and blue striped shirts or socks or pins or even sometimes scarves. He probably was just confused or couldn't make up his mind. What did he know, anyway? Or maybe it wasn't just Philip's pride sexuality-wise, maybe it was his pride in general. He stood up for what he believed in - his friends, his political standpoints... he was well educated on everything he had an opinion on, which would have been impressive it wasn't so annoying. 

Frances was explaining all of this to Theodosia Burr before the bell rang for first period because Theo had sparked an interest - a romantic interest - in Philip.

"Okay, Fran, stop. What are you even talking about?" Theodosia failed to see any of the qualities that Frances was describing as faults.

"Why I hate Philip Hamilton and... well, why everybody should hate him."

Theo gave her friend a look. "You're just listing everything great about him and then calling it annoying. Those aren't bad qualities for a person to have, Frances."

"That's not true!" Frances protested. She did not irrationally hate Philip. He was just so... argh!

"Oh, really." Theo's voice was flat with disbelief. "And what's so bad about being happy, or having a bunch of really good friends, or being proud of who you are? I'm bi too, and I rather enjoy being happy, thank you very much."

Frances paused. Theo was happy a vast majority of the time. Frances narrowed her eyes at the thought.

"Yeah, but being so happy all the time must be a façade. Nobody should be that happy that much of the time." Frances frowned, crossing her arms.

"Why, because you aren't?" Theodosia jutted out one of her hips and cocked an eyebrow. "You know, you could be happy if you let yourself be, Frances. You're just jealous."

"Of who?" Frances scoffed defensively. "You? You're my friend, Theo, I'm not jealous of you."

"Yes, you are, and it's not just me you're jealous of. It's me, and Philip, and anyone who dares to be happier than you."

"What are you--?" Frances sputtered, trying to fire back a round of her own but couldn't find the right words.

Instead, and speak of the devil, someone interrupted her.

Philip Hamilton leaned against the locker in an infuriatingly attractive way, muscles flexing and everything. "Hey, Theo..." he smiled charmingly, running his hand through his curly hair, ruffling it.

Theo blushed, biting her lip and glancing down, smiling. She opened her mouth, no doubt to say 'hi' back, but Frances, infuriated with... well, she didn't exactly know, but she was mad and it was definitely Philip's fault! She cut in before Theo had the chance to reply. "That's 'Theodosia' to you, Philip," she spat. "The only people who call her 'Theo' are her friends. Not you."

Philip's smile vanished in a heartbeat. "And... why can't I be her friend?" He didn't say it in a taunting way at all - instead, his voice was gentle, concerned, as if afraid he'd done something wrong. "Does she ...?"

Theodosia seemed to snap out of a daze. "No! No, I'd love to be your friend. Don't listen to her, I'm so sorry about that. I'd love to be your friend."

Philip seemed taken aback for less than a split second, then quickly grinned, regaining his confidence as quickly as it had vanished. "Oh, good, I was afraid you hated me or something..."

Theodosia smiled back and started to speak but Frances quickly spat, "Yeah, well, maybe she should. I've warned her about you."

Theo, frozen again, stared at her friend, looking mortified.

Frances gave Philip one last glare, then stalked off, pulling Theo with her.

Philip was left in the hallway, confused and hurt, but thoughtful.

--

"Okay, Theo, can you stop ignoring me?" Frances whined, setting her lunch tray down next to her friend, who had been giving her the silent treatment all day.

Theo moved her lunch to the opposite side of the circular table, the farthest away from Frances that she could sit. She opened up her lunchbox and bit into a sandwich stoically, hard gaze deliberately looking away from where Frances sat.

"Theo, come on, I'm sorry for whatever I did, can you please stop? I'm really sorry." Frances hated the desperate edge her voice was taking.

"How can you be sorry if you don't know what you're sorry for?" Theo finally turned to Frances, casting a stony glare at her. Frances looked down.

"Because if it's upset you then I'm sorry for it. You're my friend and I care about your feelings." Frances spoke timidly.

"Yeah, right," Theo spat. "How can you 'care about my feelings' if I actually have feelings for someone and you completely ruin my chances with them?!"

"What?" Frances visibly flinched, but she could tell that Theo didn't care.

"What did Philip ever do to you, huh?" Theo sneered. A couple people in the lunchroom glanced their way, but nobody paid much attention to them. "If you weren't just jealous of people trying harder to find what makes them happy, then maybe you'd be happy too. Stop focusing on what others are getting and go get something for yourself for once."

"Theo, I'm sorry. I didn't know... I was trying to help you!" Frances felt tears prick at her eyes. Don't cry. Don't you dare cry, she swallowed thickly, trying to force them back.

Theo, again, paid her emotions no mind and continued her Philippic. "Don't drag other people down to be at the same level as them. You're just hurting everyone that way. Maybe just climb a little higher, try a little harder, and you can achieve the level of happiness that you're so jealous of everyone else for having."

"Theo, please..."

"That's 'Theodosia' to you, Frances. The only people who call me 'Theo' are my friends."

A tear trickled down Frances' face as she watched Theodosia get up and leave.