Paternal and Proud [LAMS Short Story]

XV - Paternal and Proud

The families sat on the couch. It was long, stretching in one direction longer than it did the other, turning ninety degrees to wrap around the glass coffee table. The room was brightly and naturally lit, two of the walls almost completely taken up by the windows, covered with nostalgically flowered curtains that were doing a pretty poor job at shading the room. Philip had plenty of time to observe this as he sat, awkwardly, waiting for someone to please start speaking - it was far too silent, especially for someone who didn't mind the quiet, unlike his father, who, despite being reunited with his lover, looked far more uncomfortable than Philip felt.

Alex shifted on the couch. He was unsure of what exactly to say, though the urge to say something was too strong for him to remain silent. "So, um... John and I need to talk with both of you at once. We think it'd be a good idea to clear the air between the four of us." He turned to John, knowing that he could keep going but not knowing how relevant anything he said would actually be.

John, however, was looking at his daughter, a proud and adoring smile on his face. He knew what Frances had done to fix what she blamed herself for, but he was far more proud of what she was overcoming internally, and what she was learning about herself.

Frances was happy too. It had been a while since she'd thought that about herself - that she was truly content with herself, that she liked everything she was feeling and thinking and just plainly was. She saw the love that laced her and Philip's fathers' hearts together, she saw the happiness that was reflected in both of their eyes, and she found herself loving the love they felt for each other, feeling happy for their happiness.

She turned to Philip, who was looking at his father. She loved the way they looked at each other. It was a very specific look - one intensely caring and etched with concern, deep into each other's eyes, and the way she saw that they could read each other was incredible.

Alex continued, "I guess both of you knew we were dating."

"Were?" Philip asked cautiously, and John looked to his daughter, a grin on his face.

"Are," John corrected definitively, looking to Alex with a determined smile. "If that's okay with you, of course."

Alex gaped at him, batting his lashes. "Qui, moi? Are you questioning my love for you, darling?"

"Hey, you're the one who broke up with me, is all I'm saying," John grinned back, and Frances could feel a smile growing on her face at their natural interaction. Philip, similarly, was having the exact same reaction.

"Look, even though I guess I set this all up, I still want to apologize. Because I was horrible and you deserve at the very least an apology. All of you," Frances blurted, then silenced very suddenly, taking a breath. No going back now, she told herself. Her dad was giving her an encouraging, proud smile but she couldn't help the nerves that were fluttering around wildly in her stomach. "I'm sorry about everything, I guess. I was too selfish and wrapped up in my own problems to see how in love you guys were, how happy you were. I was just... jealous, I guess, because I wasn't happy the same way you were because I thought that was only way to be happy. I guess I still don't know really what's going on, but I definitely get that I can be happy without being in love. So, yeah. I'm really sorry I caused everyone so much grief... and well, while I am sorry, I'm also thankful that this all happened. I... I learned a lot about myself, and about love, and I'm thankful for that. And... I'm also thankful that you are all a part of my life."

She immediately looked down at her hands which were fidgeting in her lap, not wanting to meet gazes with anyone. She never wore her heart on her sleeve like this, never felt so open and flayed and raw, feelings on display for everyone to pick apart.

As the silence lengthened, she nervously peeked up at the family around her, but didn't get to gauge reactions from anyone because she was suddenly enveloped in someone. Arms went around her shoulders and hugged her closely, and after nearly getting a mouthful of curls, she startled at the realization that it was Philip. Her arms almost nervously reciprocated the hug, but she soon found herself relaxing and returning the sweet gesture wholeheartedly.

Philip pulled away from Frances, feeling guilty about the way he'd acted toward her the past few days. He was nearly speechless from what Frances had done - impressed and amazed and thankful and so many things all at once. He was about to apologize too, to Frances, but she turned to his father instead and murmured, "Dad, Mr. Hamilton, I'm sorry. I had no right to mess something up that made you both so happy, and I shouldn't have taken out my frustration with myself on both of you. So... well, again, I'm so, so sorry." Frances looked down again, letting her curls block her vision from the two dads in front of her. Tears were biting at her eyes, and she didn't want to cry. Not in front of all of them, at least.

"Oh, Frances..." Frances was enveloped in a hug once again, and was also surprised once again to find that it was Mr. Hamilton, embracing her in such a fatherly way, rubbing her back gently, murmuring reassuring it's okays and we love yous to her. She slowly gripped him back, letting her tears fall. "I'm sorry," she whispered again. "T-thank you, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

John felt a loving smile cross his face again as he watched the two, watching Frances' expression change as Alex reached out and hugged her. He saw the way she was shocked at first but completely melted into it a second later, wrapping her arms back around him like a lifeline, like she needed him. John could understand the feeling.

The two pulled away. Frances, again, stared straight down, wiping her eyes furiously with her sleeve. She didn't have to look up to know her father was smiling, and she could feel Philip's eyes on her, studying her, gauging what she did and didn't want to happen.

Maybe it was lucky or maybe Philip could really tell what she needed, but he successfully took everyone's attention off of Frances by clearing his throat and looking at the dads. "Well... I think Franny kind of spoke for both of us there..." he beamed childishly, leaning out of the way to dodge a swat that Frances aimed at his head. Frances nodded, though, a grin slowly growing on her face. "Yeah, um..." she paused to sniffle and dry her eyes again on her sleeve. Philip turned to her with a smile, wrapping an amiable arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him gratefully and continued. "We love you and we're so happy to be your kids."

"Aw, France..." John's eyes shone with pride for his daughter, as for once, he felt like he and Frances were on the same team. He realized, though, that they were now part of a bigger team, including Alex and Philip, all bound together by love. "Thank you. Thank you both," he locked eyes with first his daughter, then Philip. "So much. Thank you for everything, for being you, for being in our lives." He lastly looked to Alex, feeling so much love - so much it felt as if it was filling him up, making him whole, covering him from head to toe - and it had never felt so natural. "We love you so so much, and we're proud to be your parents."

FIN