The Entropy of Knowledge

Prologue

     Within the vastness of empty space that exists between the planets of a solar system, there is typically not a lot of traffic. Yet that didn't stop Sophie from screaming into Lester's ears every five minutes about watching where he was going.

      "You're going to kill us!" the little old lady shouted at her red-faced husband.

      "I'm not going to kill anyone!" he reiterated for the thousandth time. "We're not even within a light year of a single thing out here." He gestured to the inky blackness outside the window.

      "Keep your hands on the wheel!" Sophie screeched, shaking him by his shoulders. "You're going to hit a comet."

      "I might just if you don't unhand me this second, woman!"

      Lester and Sophie had been married for 62 long years. They lived full lives, worked hard, made a boat-load of money in their time together, and were now leaving their solar system to retire in a warmer part of the galaxy. Maybe somewhere down true south. Sophie was tired of living in a place with two suns, and Lester was tired of listening to her complain, so they crammed their worldly possessions into their little space coupe and set out for the cosmos.

      Space travel was rare these days, unless someone had a lot of money like them. The technology was hard to come across for most folks, and even worse, the people who owned space ships didn't have a clue how to operate them. Lester once heard on the AM/XM radio that some planets in his solar system didn't even know what space travel was. Apparently, his wife never forgot this little fact.

      "That's why I still think you should stop and ask someone at the next planet for directions," Sophie said. "We might not see another living soul out here for the rest of the trip!"

      "We didn't need any directions to get here; we don't need any now!"

      "We didn't need directions because Marshall was driving, not you. You couldn't find your way out of a plastic bag!"

      Lester felt his cheeks warm under his straw hat. He gripped the crème leather wheel even tighter. She would never let him live that plastic bag episode down, would she?

      "Look." Sophie stuck her withered finger right past Lester's bulbous nose to point out the window. "That sign there says this is the last planet with a Bob Deans for the next three light years. Let's stop, Lester!"

      The old man glanced at the faded metallic sign floating just outside the window. It was so caked with ice that he could barely make out the restaurant's logo: a breakfast sandwich wearing overalls. He scoffed, looking forward again.

      "We don't need to stop. We're making good time."

      "But I'm hungry!"

      Lester nodded to the glove compartment in front of his wife. "We have plenty of dehydrated food in there. It should last us a decade."

      "I don't like any of that stuff. I want scrambled eggs from Bob Deans! And maybe you could ask somebody there for directions."

      "If you bring up directions one more time, just ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to plow this baby into the nearest quasar! You better believe it!"

      Sophie shrank away and pulled a gumdrop from her pocketbook. "Now, Lester, there's no need to get so upset. If you don't want to stop at Bob Deans, then we don't have to stop at Bob Deans. But when we're months down the road, and you get a craving for some of Bob Deans' home cooked scrambled eggs, don't come crying to me!"

      He could hear her false teeth flapping as she chewed, and it made his blood boil. "I won't get a craving for their scrambled eggs! I don't even like their scrambled eggs!"

      "What are you talking about; you love Bob Deans' scrambled eggs."

      "They're always gritty. I can do without them."

      The sound of her chewing got louder. "Maybe this time they won't be. Oh, let's stop anyway. Please."

      Before Lester had a chance to respond or make any more wild threats, a massive ship materialized in front of them. It was huge, sleek, and resembled a giant egg. The coupe screeched to a halt.

      "Would you look at that," Lester said, catching his breath. "They came out of their warp drive right in front of us. That was a close one."

      "They could have killed us!" Sophie clutched her flowery pillbox hat in panic. "I bet they don't even have insurance. You should give them a piece of your mind."

      "I wonder what a ship like that is doing in our neck of the woods," Lester went on, ignoring his wife as he so often did. "That there is an invasion ship. Haven't seen one of those in years."

      "You've never seen one before; quit lying." Sophie threw down her tiny pocketbook and turned on the dashboard radio. She held the mouthpiece to her lips and spun the rotary dial until she reached the colossal ship's frequency.

      "You listen here, now," she shouted into the mouthpiece. "You better watch where you're going! What's the matter with you? There are decent people out here, you know! So, mind your manners!" She slammed the mouthpiece back on its cradle with an air of finality.

      A small compartment opened on the bottom of the egg-shaped ship. A laser turret popped out, blasted the coupe to dust, and retracted back inside. It didn't pay the destroyed vehicle the slightest bit of attention after that.

      After all, it had a planet to invade.

***Thank you for reading my sample. If you like what you saw (and even if you didn't), you can find a copy of your own at http://divertirpublishing.com/books/eok.html ***