What We'll Survive Together (UD One-Shots)

Sam and Ashley- Showing Weakness Makes You Strong

     When the group of eight friends spent the night at the Washington lodge, it became clear early on that things would never be the same. Everyone handled their grief different ways, but some of them worried what was left of the group more than others. Such was the case with Sam.
     Sam was the one person that everyone could count on. She had no problem being the designated driver or the adult supervision. However, things changed after the mountain. She tried to keep up her happy charade for the sake of the others, but it became more difficult every day. She'd come home feeling drained and cold, as if a part of her was still on the mountain. Despite her feelings, she did her best to help her friends when they needed it. As time went on, however, she became less and less willing to spend time together. Mike was the first to notice it. He tried to invite her out to a party after everything had seemingly settled, but she completely refused. As time went on, this became more and more frequent. One night, the rest of the group was at yet another party either getting wasted somewhere or hiding in a corner.
     "So... still no word from Sam?" Chris asked Mike before both of them got too drunk to function.
     "Nope. I'm not really surprised, though. She was never really a party animal." Mike brushed it off as he took a sip of his drink.
     "But this is like, the third time she's missed out." Chris argued. "Shouldn't we-"
     "Relaaaaax. It's probably nothing. She's just having a time, she'll get through it. She always does." Mike interjected, throwing one arm lazily around Chris's shoulder.
     Off to the side, Ashley managed to hear every other word of their conversation over the blaring music. After all they'd been through, she was surprised the others would just ignore something so odd from Sam. They did the same thing with Josh, and they all knew how badly that ended for everyone. Not wanting to risk having history repeat itself, she stood up without a word and slipped through Mike's back door. She made her way over to Chris's beat-up old car, taking the spare key out of her back pocket. As she sat in the driver's seat, she sent him a quick text.

Soon enough, she made her way from Mike's loud house to Sam's much quieter one that she shared with her father. Ash could see that the lights were on but the car was missing, which usually meant that Sam was home alone.
Stepping out of Chris's car, Ashley made her way to the front door. She knocked twice, but heard no response. She could, however, see Sam's figure from her bedroom window. She turned the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked. She quietly let herself in the house and took the familiar path up the stairs to Sam's door. Once again, she knocked loudly.
"Sam? I know you're here." Ash said.
From the other side of the door, Sam sounded startled. "Ash?! Uh, j-just a second..." she answered. A few moments later, Sam opened the door and it was obvious to Ashley that something was wrong. She seemed unusually pale, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were red and puffy. Ashley knew the look all too well. She herself had worn it quite a few times in recent years.
"Sam...? What's the matter?" Ashley asked in a soft voice.
"Ah, it's nothing. Don't worry about me." Sam replied, trying to wipe the wetness from her cheeks.
"It's a little late for that... can I come in?"
"Well since you're already here..." she said as she stepped aside, allowing Ashley to enter.
Both girls had been in this room many times. The large bed with worn comforters and a few comfy pillows were all familiar to Ashley. She knew the stories behind most of the pictures held in frames on the wall, nightstand, and dresser, including a few about Sam's late mother. One that she hadn't seen before, though, was a photo of Sam and Josh resting on the dresser beside one of his sisters together. They were both smiling brightly in ugly Christmas sweaters from a few years back. Ashley felt a pang of guilt in her chest as she looked at the photo. She knew the two of them had been close. They had tried dating in the past, but found themselves more comfortable as friends. Ash was pretty sure that there were some unresolved feelings there, which only made her feel worse.
"Aren't you supposed to be at a party?" Sam asked as she closed her bedroom door and sat on the bed.
"Uh, the others were asking about you..." Ash answered as she snapped out of it.
"So you decided to steal Chris's car?" Sam asked with a chuckle.
"What? I needed a way to get here." Ash defended. "I- ...we've been worried about you."
"Why?"
"We haven't seen you in awhile. Mike says he keeps inviting you out, but you keep saying no. I get it, everyone needs alone time, but this is just... weird for you, you know?" Ash tried to explain.
     Sam sighed. "Things have just been stressful." She admitted. "With the funeral coming up, schoolwork getting piled on me, and my dad being worried sick about me-"
     "We are too, Sam." Ash interrupted. "I know it's hard, but you can talk to us. We're here for you, honest."
     Sam glanced over at the photos on her dresser of the Washingtons, then back into Ashley's worried eyes. She couldn't explain why, but she found comfort in them. She didn't bother to stop the tears from rolling down her face. She hugged Ashley tightly, who didn't seem to protest.
"I-I failed them, Ash..." Sam sobbed into Ashley's shoulder.
"What? Failed who?" She asked.
"Hannah, Beth... J-Josh..."
"Sam, no-"
"I-I tried to be strong for Hannah when she liked Mike, th-then for Josh when Hannah and Beth disappeared, and now f-for you guys, but-"
"Samantha, stop." Ashley stopped her. "I know you wanna help us, but... it's okay if you can't be there for us 24/7. And no, you didn't fail. You did everything you could to help them and us get through everything. Let us return the favor for once." She said.
"I-I can't let myself be weak... I've got to be strong for your sake..." Sam argued as she sat up straight.
"Sometimes showing weakness makes you strong." Ash told her. "You can't beat yourself up forever. For my sake, please let me-... us, help you."
Sam wiped her eyes. "Will that really make you feel better?" She asked. Ashley nodded vigorously. "Oh alright..." she stood up and walked towards her closet.
"What are you doing?" Ashley asked from her seat on the bed.
"Getting dressed. We've got a party to get back to." Sam answered with a faint smile, causing Ash's face to light up.