What We'll Survive Together (UD One-Shots)

Chris and Josh- Saying Goodbye

Dread. That was the only word Chris could use to describe how he felt waking up on that one particular morning. It almost seemed cruel that it was a surprisingly beautiful day, with warm temperatures and clear skies. Chris thought a downpour was more appropriate.
As he climbed out of bed and looked in the mirror, Chris sighed. His eyes were still red, his hair was a mess, and he had dark circles under his eyes. In all honesty, he was expecting worse. He had hardly been sleeping these past few weeks. It was too difficult, thanks to the nightmares of Josh and the wendigos plaguing his mind.
     Chris wandered into his bathroom and turned the water on. He showered quickly and got dressed, trying to look as nice as he could considering his situation. He never really liked attending funerals since they always ended in tears, but he knew that this one in particular was going to be the worst one he had ever been a part of.
     As he climbed into the back seat of the car, with his parents up front, Chris went through all the worst outcomes that could play out that day. 'Maybe the funeral home will catch fire and we'll have to reschedule. Or maybe Bob and Melinda cancel because they aren't ready. Or maybe Josh will magically show up and make a really bad joke about this whole thing...' Chris knew that the last bit was just wishful thinking. It had already been a month since the incident. If Josh was alive, he would've been rescued. There was no point clinging to false hope a second time.
     During the seemingly endless drive to the funeral home, Chris found himself reminiscing about the past. Back when everyone was happy and alive, and nobody had any idea what a wendigo even was. He remembered the first day he met Josh, when he got moved to the back of the classroom. He remembered how excited he had been when he introduced him to Hannah and Beth. He remembered all the parties, hung-over mornings, all-night gaming sessions, everything. None of those things would ever happen again now. Josh was gone.
     When the car finally pulled into the parking lot, Chris could see many teary-eyed faces standing around, many of which he didn't recognize. He figured they were probably relatives or family friends of Bob and Melinda. He climbed out of the car, his feeling of dread only getting worse. He remembered a conversation that he and Josh had months ago that he would often think of in stressful situations.
     "I'll tell you something Dr. Hill told me." Josh had said. "Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7, then exhale for 8 seconds. It helps calm you down."
     At first, Chris didn't think anything of it. When he actually tried it, however, he found it to be helpful. He found himself doing this on instinct quite often, including now.
     Chris scanned the crowd, looking for the others. He continued replaying the conversation in his head.
"Has that ever... ya know... actually helped you?"
     "Sometimes... look, I know I'm not always alright in my head, but you'd be surprised to know that sometimes I know what I'm talking about."
     Chris had laughed. "Never said you didn't, bro."
     Turns out Josh hadn't been completely joking that day. He wasn't "alright in the head" most of the time. If only Chris had noticed it sooner. Maybe he could've done more to help. Sure, he had tried to be there for him best he could, but apparently it wasn't enough.
    Chris was pulled away from his thoughts by a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Chris? You okay?" He heard a voice ask.
     Chris turned around to find Sam standing behind him. She wore a simple short-sleeve black dress with a grey sweater. She had a silver butterfly necklace dangling around her neck with her hair pulled up into her usual messy bun.
     "Oh, uh, h-hey Sam." Chris stammered as she pulled him into a hug.
     "Hey. Glad to see that you made it." Sam replied. It was obvious by her voice that she had been crying.
     "Well, ah, I kinda agreed to speak, so I have to be." Chris admitted.
     "You did? Damn, I didn't have the heart to do it."
     "And I didn't have the heart to say no." He admitted with a sad chuckle. "Have you seen anyone else?"
"Yeah. We're all just waiting for the service to start." Sam answered. She led him into another room where three caskets sat in front of several rows of chairs. People were walking up to them and quietly paying their respects, most likely not knowing that the caskets were empty. The Washingtons didn't exactly broadcast what had happened to everyone they knew.
Sitting in the very front of the room were Bob and Melinda Washington. As expected, Melinda was a sobbing mess, and Bob was doing his best to comfort her. Behind them, Mike, Jess, Emily, Matt, and Ashley were sitting in a row. They saved two seats for Sam and Chris, assuming they'd be there. They walked over and sat down, hardly speaking to one another.
A few minutes later, the service started. As various people stood up to speak about Josh and the twins, Chris hardly heard them. He was letting his mind wander once again into the past. He remembered a talk he had with Josh a few days before the trip.
"Party like pornstars? Really?" Chris had asked as Josh finished recording his video. He had been sitting a few feet away, behind the camera.
"Oh shut up. I panicked." Josh defended.
"Uh-huh... Hey, are you sure about this?"
"What do you mean?"
"This whole 'going back' thing. Do you really think it'll help-"
"Yes." Josh had snapped suddenly. "It's... it's exactly what I need right now. I know I'll feel better once it's over."
"Well... if you say so, man. Just know it's not too late to bail." Chris told him.
"There's no shame in bailing." Josh said, continuing the reference.
"Nooo shame!" They yelled in unison, laughing like fools.
Now, Chris knew exactly what Josh meant. The conversation always struck him as a little bit odd, but he never thought anything of it. Unfortunately, it all made sense to him now.
Chris was pulled from his thoughts once again by a hand on his shoulder. This time, he looked over and saw a teary-eyed Ashley looking back at him. Her eyes darted to the front of the room, then back at him. He realized she was trying to silently tell him that it was his turn to speak. His cheeks flushed pink as he stood up, making his way to the front.
He looked out over the crowd, each of them looking at him expectantly. In the chaos of the last few weeks, he hadn't exactly gotten time to prepare himself. He found himself fumbling over his words as he started. "Uh... h-hi... my name's Chris... um, most of you don't know me, but... Josh was one of my best friends. I-I've known him since third grade, and Hannah and Beth since fourth. I had hoped we'd all stay close for a lot longer..." he looked over at his fellow survivors. "Not very many people knew Josh like I did. We spent a lot of time together. He, um... he had a lot going on after Hannah and Beth's disappearance... I tried to be there for him best I could. I-I just wish-" he felt his eyes water again, so he stopped for a moment to compose himself. "...I just wish I could've done more."
As he walked back to his seat, Chris struggled to keep himself together. When he sat down, the others did their best to comfort them. He appreciated if, of course, but he knew things would never be the same again. He never expected to be saying goodbye to his oldest and closest friend so soon.