Wattpad: Cliches & Ridicules.

The Stages of a Relationship.

Let me cut straight to the chase on this one. This is the most cliche and simplistic form of "The Stages of the Relationship" so please sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the rest of this bumpy ride because all you're going to be hearing from me is "ranting, ranting, ranting in progression, oh, another cliche here and there, ranting, balling my eyes out, ranting, ranting, ranting, blah, blah, slipping of the tears, blah, blah, ranting in speedy mode" over and over again.

Now.

Shall we begin?

#1. REALITY: POKE.
If a girl or a guy likes each other, one another, whatever, it's cool. It's cute. The boy is secretly insecure (maybe) and the girl is stalking him behind bushes with her friends (maybe without the friends, but definitely the stalking). That's cute, and that's normal. Cliche, maybe, but it's normal and it's reality.

#1: CLICHE: POKE X10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.
So the girl and guy like each other (duh, or else it wouldn't be a story if it was some middle school one-side-crush thingy). Now, this is like poke multiplied by a million other poking plus the addition wake-up-to-a-sunny-morning-turn-around-and-crush-is-next-to-you multiplied by another million particles of poking and then sprinkle in the dumb-blonde-that's-out-to-kill-you-fresh and divide it by half, shove one half at the main character's life and shove the other one at the boy the main character has cursed to fall in love with her since she's a nerd, who has little friends, has no life, and only reads mangas in her freetime.

#2. REALITY: GRADUAL ADMITTING.
To get into a relationship, you either have to be forced to get involved volunteeringly. And to get involved volunteeringly? You have to admit. And admitting you like the other person takes at least another ten thousand water bottles to keep your cool and another six dozen frozen ice cubes shoved up your *ss because there is no way you're going to calm down.

Girl AND boy involved.

Now this is all gradual, of course. Typically, you don't admit out of the blue. Both sides of this blooming relationship understand each other, if you're smart and you're not failing the class "signs of life and vitality", then you should catch the hint. And from this, it gets less awkward and less awkward through the minutes you spend.

#2: CLICHE: I LOVE YOU (2nd week of crushing).
Within the second week, or better yet, the tenth chapter, someone admits they finally like this person. For the better or worse, this character, usually the boy is fierce, straight to the point, and honestly doesn't look like he cares too much.

And there's no sweat. Nothing happening. Just blunt honestly. I mean, seriously. You're not flippin' alerting her that you've just given up your shifts at McDonalds to become a Subway worker, okay? You're admitting you like this person. No matter how many relationships you've had in the past, you like this girl and you're telling her that.

That's, like, telling your most loved teacher that you sincerely hate them and want them to die in a hole. For two things, you may go to h*ll or the principal's office (classified as the modern version of h*ll for teenaged students that attend some kind of extremely strict private school). Either the teacher will laugh at your joke and call you cute, patting you over the head which could equivilate to h*ll or they'll murder you with their bare hands.

Did you know it's legal to murder your cheating husband with your bare hands in Hong Kong? (BuzzFeed videos are the BOMB.)

#3. REALITY: HOLDING HANDS.
Cute, perfect, don't ruin the moment. Of course they don't last forever, but they're fun while they last.

#3: CLICHE: SECOND BASE.
They have no clue what first base is. Like, seriously, they don't.

#4. REALITY: THE TROPHY GIRLFRIEND.
You've held hands and now you're cherishing every moment with him, every picture you've taken with him (or merely starring him and only him because you have a secret camera wrapped around your hips). But you really like him, and you assume you're going to get married. Now I'm saying this, cliche things do come from somewhere, huh?