Addicted

How it all began

Interviewer: Okay this is the part where I'll sit back and listen to you while you tell us everything. So tell us Skyla,how old were you when this episode started?

Skyla: I was seventeen when I found myself craving sex. I had lost my virginity to my boyfriend of five years at the age of seventeen, and umm...a couple of months later,we broke it off due to distance as he was in college and I had just graduated from high school. It got pretty nasty in the end because for me it was just due to the fact that he was constantly so far from me,but for him,he wanted to rid me a really long time. I was like the annoying fly he couldn't get rid of. So when I proposed we separated ways,he jumped at the opportunity,told me he didn't love me anymore,and he left just like that.

A lot of young girls at that age would boast about how their boyfriends were sweet and gentle during their first time,but for me it was painful right through. He wanted to make it as painless as possible but unfortunately for him I don't think he quite knew what he was doing so it wasn't painless at all. I couldn't be one of those boasting and bragging young girls about how gentle my boyfriend was,I had to keep it to myself.

He told me that after I had sex once,I'd want it all the time. I didn't believe him at that time,I only thought he was joking,maybe make me feel as if I'd always have to run back to him for sex. Little did I know that he was being deadly serious.

Interviewer: You said you guys were together for five years. Did you only ever sleep together once?

Skyla: Yes,we only slept together once. And it may be hard for some persons to fathom that fact but it is the God's honest truth. Everytime my boyfriend would come to me and wanted sex I'd always find a way to put him off,saying things like 'I'm on my period' or 'I'm not in the mood today'. Little things like that usually put him off,especially if he hears about being on my period.

Interviewer: Why would you want to put him off sex with you?

Skyla: I guess I just developed a fear of sex always being painful with him. I never wanted to experience what I did when I lost my virginity to him,that pain. The whole process of losing my virginity was painful,never was there a moment where I felt any kind of pleasure. Just pain.

Interviewer: Think maybe that could also be a part of why he was so eager to separate?

Skyla: Could be. I mean he was already cheating on me with a couple of girls. Girls that were once my friends. I guess what really did it for him is the fact that he wasn't getting any sex and he knows that whispering a word or two in another girl's ear might get him lucky.

Interviewer: So how did you really know you had an addiction? Tell us the story.

Skyla: After my breakup,I started school at a training facility that helps to develop your vocational skills. I met this guy by the name of David,or Dave for short. He was ten years older than I was at that time,I was seventeen,he was twenty seven.

I always had a thing for guys that are a bit older than I am,which is why my boyfriend was three years older than I. Dave was a bus driver for the school. He'd pick me up after classes,he'd take me straight up to my house,he'd wait until I got inside safe and sound, little things like that. Until one night,it was just us two in the bus. He confessed that he liked me and he would like to get to know me. We exchanged numbers, we called,we texted,we flirted. We eventually got closer over the months. One Saturday,he called and invited me over to his house for lunch. I knew that in this time,he was making his move and I was very ready for it. I didn't care that I was only seventeen,I didn't care that if we got caught everything could go up into flames,I just didn't care.

I went with him that evening,having a small argument with my dad whom I lived with at that time. He didn't want me to go with Dave. He didn't know the guy and he didn't trust a guy alone with a young and beautiful girl like me. But I was stubborn and insisted on going. Having gotten to his house,we ate,we talked and eventually I couldn't take the tension crackling between us anymore,so I made the move.

Interviewer: (In shock)You made the move?

Skyla: I made the move. I kissed him and started to caress him a bit. It got him going and he jumped into action,peeling my clothes off slowly. He didn't want to do it at first,but my eyes and body language convinced him to go for it. And he did. We had sex over five times that evening and I loved every second of it. No pain,just blissful pleasure. I fell in love with that feeling. I craved that feeling everyday.

And so,it became regular thing between us. I'd sneak off with him during the days at school,sometimes I'd dress for school and not actually go to school. I just wanted to be near him,near that euphoric feeling again. And he'd give me that feeling over and over again.

Interviewer: Did you think that maybe your lack of enjoyment from your first time is what spurred this on?

Skyla: Yes,I definitely think so.