Happier || daisuga

happier.

After that conversation, I was barely able to stand on my own two legs alone and Daichi had to support me to the car. I feel quite embarrassed about it. As I buckled on my seatbelt I saw that Daichi was doing the same and I must admit, this is a pretty nice car. Big enough for a family of 5, I can already see it. Daichi and Yui going on vacation with two kids in the back seat. Seems like a perfect family.

''So, do you still live in the same apartment as before?'' The brown haired male asked. ''Well, I don't have enough money for a new apartment, not even for a car, so yeah.'' My job doesn't pay me enough for the effort. ''I think I still remember where that was so we'll be good without looking on the internet, anyway, how come you look so sick? Don't tell me you're not eating enough again, you know you can always tell me.'' Ah, there he goes, dad-mode.

''I'm eating enough, don't worry. It's probably just a fever.'' Sure Kōshi, you're lovesick. Just put on some music and try to ignore your feelings for a while. So I did what I told myself and put on some music. Then at the wrong time when I put on the radio, 'Happier' started playing. I slowly started to sing along to the song as I looked out of the window at the dark view with street lights. I then heard another voice joining the song and that voice belonged to Daichi, he knew the song too.

''So Suga, have you found yourself a partner yet?'' Daichi asked, trying to break the silence in the car. If only he knew that I have given up on getting one cause he's the one I had been looking for. ''I tried, didn't work out tho, haha.'' Nice save. ''Well, I will give you the best of luck. Gotta get one before you're old and grey.'' Was that a joke? ''I'm at least pretty in grey. You can try your best but it'll never look as good as mine.'' I snorted back, just like old times. Stupid but still funny jokes about my hair never get old. Pun intended.

''You still aren't giving up on your ash-colored hair, typical Suga.'' He said whilst laughing, but there was something different about this laugh. It was wider, even wider than before when he was with Yui. I'm seriously wondering if his smiles do lie. This man takes too long to warm up, he's too cold. Speaking about cold, the car is quite cold, I mean, freezing cold. BrrH.

''Uhm, Suga? Are you just feeling cold or?'' And he's the worried dad again. ''Kinda yeah, I didn't realize it could be this cold in spring, stupid am I right?'' I seriously didn't think about it. ''Well, you can grab my jacket from the back seat.'' I did what he suggested and it was suddenly a lot warmer. To be honest, his jacket is kinda nice, it smells like him too, very manly.

Around 10 minutes later, we arrived at my apartment, way too soon. This is where he'd leave me alone while he'd return to his wife, warm in a house. I walked out of the car and headed to the building's door, but before I could walk through it I was stopped.

''Suga, ehm, I'm sorry.'' What? Why would this big man say sorry to me? What did he do to me to let him say 'sorry'? ''I'm sorry for never confessing to you.'' ''.. I... Dai-'' Then it happened. I felt warm soft lips connecting with mine while wet salty tears made it's way across my face, it was truly an enchanting feeling to have him kiss me. After we broke apart, Daichi moved his hands towards my face to wipe away my tears.

''Daichi... One word, why? Don't make this harder than it already is. Just, why?'' I asked. I am desperate for answers. He kissed me, he's married? Did this even mean something? What about Yui? Why!? ''I wanted to confess to you from the moment I saw you, but I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to keep you away from all of the hate we'd get. I'm just so sorry that I didn't confess even if I saw you were keeping everything strained. Yui literally confessed to me on the day I wanted to confess to you, quite awful. Now I'm married to her what is honestly amazing, I came to love her unconditionally. That kiss was a way of saying goodbye, I'm sorry Suga.''

I was in complete shock as he told the story, he had feelings for me too? ''Anyway, I think I have to return to my lovely bride, can't stay here forever, unfortunately.'' He had to go already? Please don't go. ''Rest up a bit, sleep tight, farewell Suga.'' And with that, he stepped back into his car and drove away.

After I couldn't see his car anymore on the horizon, I began walking to my apartment. It took a lot of fake smiles to reassure the neighbors that I was okay. Some tried to stop me but I insisted I was alright. I reached the door and unlocked it with my key, it had a keychain on it that Daichi gave to me, a cute volleyball. At the exact moment I closed the door, I broke down. I sobbed and I whispered quietly ''It's better this way, I'm so, so sorry...''

I grabbed my phone and looked at the background picture, a photo of me and Daichi on graduation day, both smiling as if it was the happiest times of our lives. Everything was so simple back then, why does everything that's happening now consists of pain, misery, tears, and regret. Suddenly I feel a buzz coming from my phone, a text from Yui.

Sawamura Yui:
Sugawara, thank you for coming to the party! :photo_attached:

Sugawara Koshi:
Haha, no problem! Good luck you two.

The photo was of the newly wedded couple, as I looked at the photo my eyes quickly fell onto the smile that Daichi had, I could see it through a blurry vision caused by tears that were once again streaming down my face. I quietly whimpered:

Baby, you look happier, you do.