Need Me; Taekook

TWENTY FOUR

(Jimin)

     Ihatemyselfihatemyselfihatemyself! I glare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, despising everything I see. Taking a deep breath, I force myself to undress and stare at my naked body.
      Used. Disgusting. Tainted. Slut. Whore. Worthless. Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Just kill yourself. Fag.
      A single tear slips down my cheek replacing my pain with anger. Clenching a fist, I punch the glass, shattering it and busting my knuckles. I smile grimly as the blood drips down onto the white floor.
      No one loves you. Everyone just wants you to disappear. You are good for nothing except fucking. Literal gutter trash. KILL YOURSELF!!
      I flinch when there's a knock at my door. I slip a robe on and wrap my hand in a towel before walking to the door and opening it. I blink at the unexpected sight of Hoseok standing outside with a smile.
      He never visits me. "Hey—"
      He shoves past me inside. "Shut up." He grabs my arm and pushes me onto the bed, immediately forcing the robe off my shoulders and thrusting his tongue aggressively into my mouth.
      I've learned not to fight it, not to reject. Not to tense up as he spreads my legs roughly, leaving bruises on my inner thighs as he bites my lips.
      I gasp, moving my head away for air. "Ahh! Hobi..." I tangle my fingers in his hair as he ruts his hard cock against mine. Whimpering as he jerks my head up by my hair, climbing to his knees and rubbing his cock against my lips.
      "Suck me." He demands harshly, panting. He and Yoongi must be fighting again. I grunt as he immediately begins face fucking me, choking me.
      I drop the towel and grasp his pants, clawing, the need to breathe attacking me but I hold my breath and just take it, letting him fuck my throat raw.
      It hurts. My body, my hair, my throat, my lungs. He only likes hurting you. He hates you. Worthless. Slut. Dirt.
      Tears spring to my eyes as I feel black spots beginning to cover my vision. I smack against his thighs desperately needing to breathe. He doesn't stop, though, moaning loudly and thrusting even deeper before abruptly spilling his hot cum down my throat.
      "Swallow." He growls.
      I gag, swallowing his load obediently and trying to suck in as much air as I can before he crawls to the headboard and rests against it, his eyes dark with want. "I want you to ride me tonight." He demands, pulling me up by my arm, giving me no room to deny him. Not that I would. Slut.
      I wipe my tears before slowly straddling his thighs but he stops me before I can sink down. "Turn around. I like watching your ass take my cock."
      Swallowing hard, I reluctantly turn around to face away from him and line myself up. He clutches my hips and begins to work my ass down on his hard cock.
      I bite my lip as more tears well up. It hurts so much. He never prepares me and doesn't let me do it myself. Says he likes it better when I'm tighter. He likes forcing me open. It's agony as I force myself to push down and pop him inside my body. I shudder in pain and rest my palms on his shins for leverage.
      He smacks my ass hard several times watching my cheeks bounce. God you're so fat, Jimin. "Fuck, move!" He groans, grasping my cheeks and forcing my ass up and down on his leaking cock, coaxing out a moan of pleasure-pain from me.
       I ignore the pain and spread my legs farther, working myself at a fast pace, bouncing my plump ass up and down his thick shaft hard, shaking and clenching around him as he moans and bucks his hips.
      He reaches around and plays with my cock, muttering dirty degrading words to me as I ride him, my abs and thighs burning from my efforts, sweat blooming on my forehead and back.
      His teeth bite down on my shoulder and I cry out, cumming hard over his thighs. "Hobi!"
      "That's right, you dirty little whore. Fuck, I love watching your ass eat my big cock. So hungry for it, hm, Jiminie? Your body crave mine, huh?" He smacks my ass again and again, leaving welts as I force my exhausted body to keep moving, keep milking him.
      I whine after awhile, my knees giving out. I collapse onto his legs and groan. Tsking, he forces both of us to our knees while keeping inside me the whole time, keeping us connected. He grabs my wrists and pulls my arms behind me roughly, using them for leverage as he begins hammering inside me relentlessly.
      I scream, my arms aching and ass throbbing as he fucks me blindingly fast, chasing after his second orgasm. It feels like my arms are being pulled from their sockets as he finally groans loudly and cums, filling my ass lewdly.
      "Fuck, baby, so good. So so good." He sighs, releasing me. I fall on my face and groan as he slowly pulls out, his cum immediately drenching the back of my thighs as his load leaks out of my sore hole.
       I turn my head to look at him as he fixes his pants back in place. He frowns at the blood on him and the bed. "What the hell happened?"
      I whimper, rolling onto my back. "I accidentally cut my hand." I lie.
      "Oh. You okay?" He asks distractedly, grabbing a bottle of water from my mini fridge.
     I nod, slowly sitting up as he uses my bathroom before getting ready to leave.
      "You and Yoongi okay?" I ask quietly.
      He pauses, sighing. "He's an ass."
     Biting my lip, I have the urge to offer myself to him again but hold off. I really am hurting. Maybe I should take Jungkook's advice.
      "Oh. I'm sorry." I whisper.
      He walks over to me and looks down into my eyes. His hand tangles in my hair before leaning down to kiss me. It's not a lustful kiss for once but one of affection maybe? It's nice and gentle. Slow and deep.
      He pulls away, avoiding my gaze. "Get your hand looked at." He mumbles, stepping away from me and opening the door. He leaves without another word.
      I plop back down onto my back and stare at the ceiling. Whore. Slut. Useless. Dirty. Skank. Fat ass. Why can't I make the voice inside my head go away? I don't want to be like this. I just want to be happy.
       Eventually I force myself into the shower and try to wash my body as carefully as I can manage alone. I'd love to have Jungkook's help but he's still mad at me. I'm going to give him some space.
      He wants me to talk to someone. I really really don't want to. I know I need help. I know that I'm spiraling down. My depression deepening with my self worth and loathing.
      I just...can't open up again. I can't do it. My last therapist was one of the reasons I'm so fucked up. I'll never trust another person like that again. Not after being taken advantage of in my most vulnerable moment in life.
      It really fucked me up. Like...really fucked me up. I'm a shell of my former self. No one could ever see the real Park Jimin because he was destroyed along with my faith in someone to save me.
       Instead I just got used and abused even worse by the ones I'm supposed to trust the most.
      No, I'm better off alone. Looking out for Park Jimin only. Everyone will end up just letting me down and using me if I let them. At least when in this profession I can make excuses to myself for why I allow myself to get used.
      It's all your good for anyway. Everyone knows it. Just fucking own up to it.