Baby - Ot4 *Under Editing*

~7~

Now, son, I'm only telling you this

Because life can do terrible things.

~Terrible Things, Mayday Parade

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It has been 168 hours and 10080 minutes, 604,800 seconds. It's been a week since Michael has lost his baby. Michael has been in a dark place through these weeks; he's locked himself into his room not talking, not eating anything. He's just laying on his bed, laying through the weekend. If anybody so him know they would thinks he's dead.

Michael felt dead, like he wasn't really there. It's like he lost all motivation to live. So he's just there breathing, surviving, but not really living.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Luke has tried multiple times to see if Michael was okay, Same as Calum and Ashton. They all have grieved in their own ways. One was Ashton turned to alcohol but he knew how to hold his liquor so he was fine. Calum turned to smoking which wasn't okay but he needed away to cope. It still hasn't really sunk in with Luke, he couldn't really understand that his baby was gone and it was his fault why Michael was in the hospital and he killed their baby.

Luke still hadn't talked to Ashton and Calum that he did it. Luke felt so guilty he didn't even know what to do with himself anymore. Luke's been going up to Michael's room knocking and begging for Michael to open up but he won't. Michael won't open up for anyone, and that was scaring Luke the most; he couldn't lose Michael. He couldn't.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Michael has been staring at the ceiling for a week, never leaving this bed unless he had to use the bathroom. Michael was drowning, drowning darks thoughts, just drowning all together. Michael needed help and fast but he isn't willing to get help. Michael knew that Ashton and Calum needed to grieve so he left them alone and Luke.. Well, it's like he is the problem, one of Michael's lovers had killed his baby. Their baby.

The voices in Michaels head were so loud that he put his earbuds in and blasted music trying to get the voices stop. Michael knew that he was getting skinnier; he was already skinny so now he was getting to the point where he was at an unhealthy weight. Michael just couldn't bring himself to care. His baby isn't eating so why should he.

Michael had already picked out some names that he wanted to name the baby. If it was a girl, Jasey. If it was a boy, Colin. Michael started crying. He didn't stop the tears as he would have done, he knew it was pathetic he just couldn't bring himself to move.

Michael finally got up because he had to use the bathroom. Michael slowly started wobbling to the bathroom because he hadn't got up in awhile. He had no food or water for a long time.

Michael made it to the bathroom and did his business when he noticed something shiny in the corner of his eye. Michael turned his head to see a blade beside the bathtub.

"Use it, Mikey, you know you want to."

Michael knew he shouldn't be thinking like that but it was the voices and he just had a feeling like he needed to he needed to feel something other than the emotional pain he has been feeling for so long. He needed it.

*AN ok this parts needs a warning: it gets very sad and disturbing for some people so you can skip (this part it won't last that long)*

Michael slowly grabbed the bladed with shaky hands, bringing it to his wrist and drags it slowly across his wrist as he saw the red begin to bubble up to the surface of his skin. Michael sighs in content as he felt the pain. Michael kept dragging the blade across his wrist making more angry red lines as blood dripped down his arms making it splatter on the tile floor of the bathroom staining it with a blood red.

Michael looked down at the damage he did to his arm and sighed as he sees his arm; it was like he didn't have control of what he was doing. Michael cleaned up the mess of the floor and his arm, patching it up and pulling down his sleeves.

*AN ok the saddest part is over*

Michael walked back into his room and laid down facing the ceiling. Michael went to feel his stomach as he felt empty. Michael let a tear slip down his pale cheek. Michael so badly wanted his baby back he wanted his baby to be still alive and healthy in his stomach, he wanted to go through the pain of birth as he knew that is baby would still be born even if he was in pain; it doesn't matter he would have got his baby and that was all he wanted right now.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Calum came back inside after smoking probably most of his cigarette pack. Calum sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Calum looked around the room seeing Ashton drinking, watching a blank T.V and Luke was just staring at the wall.

"Michael still not out?" Calum asked the two.

"No," Ashton said simply.

Calum sighed. All three of them have not talked much about what has happened at all they just were so shocked about all of it.

"I'm going to go back to make Michael and us some food." Calum spoke and added quietly at the end, "Let's hope he eats it this time."

Calum was really nervous about what Michael would do himself. All of them knew about his past with self-harming and depression.

Calum shuffled into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out some cheese and butter. He sets them on the counter near the stove and went to get the bread. Calum was not in the mood to make a real dinner so he decided on grilled cheese. Once everything was made Calum set all of the grilled cheese on the table and called for the other two. Ashton and Luke came and sat down eating there food in silence.

Ashton sighed well he ate.

'I'm going to go give Michael his food." Ashton told them.

"Good idea." Luke spoke softly.

Ashton kissed Luke and Calum's forehead before taking Michael's plate up to him.

Ashton knocked on the door to their shared bedroom. Ashton got no response back. Ashton sighed.

"Baby boy." Ashton said softly.

Michael didn't talk at all.

"I know you're in there, and i love you and i want you to eat, you can't just not eat baby. Please i need you." Ashton choked up "i can't lose you too."

Ashton started to cry softly as he put his head on the door.

After a few minutes of silence Ashton went to go and get the key for the room. They never forced Michael out of the room, they wanted to leave Michael in peace. The only time the went in was when they needed to give Michael his food.

Ashton went into the room and saw Michael staring up at the ceiling like everytime he went into the room. Ashton put the food on the dresser and slid into the bed with Michael.

"Baby." Ashton whispered quietly.

Michael never even looked at Ashton just stuffed his face into Ashton. Ashton ran his hand through Michael's hair as he cried a little.

"I love you and our baby forever and ever. I miss the baby so much already."

Michael just let out a sob when Ashton said that.

*AN I'M CRYING, anyway i just published a new story its called colors is a Malum story and it would mean a lot if you guys could check it out!*