daddy's babysitter | yuwin

story notes

24 October 2018, 5:39 pm

I feel so abnormally proud of myself today. In the most no egotistical way possible, I think I've come so far in my writing and my life in general. I used to look back at my old writing and cringe, but now I see it as some sort of stepping stone in my writing journey. Does that make sense?? Probably not, but we're going with it.

I'm writing this completely off of impulse and have no idea where this is going, I guess it's just my thoughts and opinions while writing this story.

Oh god, this story. I did not plan this story, I did not even think about writing this, but someone suggested it to me and I had an idea. To be completely honest, when this book started, I was so unconfident and so unproud (that's a word now) of it. I found it very rushed and emotionless, with no real plotline. But now I'm extremely proud of it, it's become a story that I'd be proud to show to my mom or my friends. As I wrote, I didn't really make a plotline, I just took my feelings and put them into a character. The antagonists weren't really planned, they were just some doubts that go through my own head. Sometimes a story doesn't need a whole dramatic plotline like my other books, sometimes you just need to put the character through their own personal struggles.

You guys don't even understand how much you mean to me. I'm not here for pity, or attention, I swear, but I struggle. Every time you guys commented on Sicheng's feelings on depression, it made me feel a lot better. I don't get depression quotes from Pinterest or Tumblr or whatever, I get them from my own thoughts and the reactions to my circle description were absolutely amazing. You guys make me feel like my writing isn't completely pointless, that it actually does something good and means something to people.

So, thank you~ that's all for now. 

26 October 2018, 7:45pm

I can feel myself hesitating on writing the ending, not just because I have no idea how to write a wedding, but because I really don't want this to end. It's been a sort of support system for me lately and I'm scared to let it go, to let it be completely exposed to the public, but I have too eventually.

I think every writer has this problem at least once in their writing life. They write a book they absolutely adore and don't want to give it away, they want to be selfish and keep it. Usually because they're scared of the hate they could get on something they loved. But it's too late for me to be selfish so I better get writing~

(Make Chris a doormat at the wedding)

27 October 2018, 12:18pm

Holy shit, one of my books has 1.04k votes. I really don't deserve that, at all. I was feeling really bad last night, very guilty about something I'd done, but waking up to 99+ Wattpad notifications is oddly refreshing.

This is gonna be my shortest note, mainly because I have not started the Yuwin wedding chapter, but hey, now I have a real life visual ((;

Off to write~

9:03 pm

I didn't end up writing because I want this to be really good and I'm not feeling much love lately. But damn, this story is at #1 in taeten, and I still don't think I deserve it.

I have to make this wedding absolutely perfect and emotional, or I didn't do my job, yikes. Y'all I'm struggling with my emotions and writing.

29 October 2018, 12:10am

Do you guys think you're not good enough to be in my story or something? You're so surprised that I included some of you, it's really cute. I was avoiding doing any authors notes in this story, so I tried to show my appreciation for you guys in a different way. I hope it's not too cringe, but I saw y'all's comments about wanting to be in the wedding. I just hope you all know that I do see your comments and votes on my stories, it's just hard to reply to all of them, especially some of the more popular ones.

But I swear you guys don't drown in my other notifications, I always check every morning!

31 October 2018

I'm going to write this Halloween special if it kiLlS mE

Which it probably will

1 November 2018

My birthday is in seven days yasssss

How to write an ending 101 by smuttytaelien:

1) think about how you want it to end, where does each character end up

2) cry because you don't want to write the ending

3) listen to sad music while crying as you procrastinate that ending

4)  just write it with a happy smile at how far your characters have come in the story

5) read it and be proud of how far you have come

2 November 2018

Okay, okay, I'm doing it for reals now. Enjoy reading about Rin and his crush *wink wonk*

I finished it... This is the end, cri.

Thank you guys so much and I'm so sorry I made you cry all the time hahdbsbs