to indeed be a god|| dps imagines & preferences

charlie | imagine

modern! imagine based on ghost of you by 5sos

here i am waking up
still can't sleep on your side
charlie awoke to the sun seeping through the blinds, his eyes droopy and still swollen from the tears that spilt just hours earlier. he sat up with his hair mangled from pulling at it and glanced over to the side of the bed you slept on, the pillowcase still wrinkled from the last time you slept on it, and the sent of your shampoo lingered. charlie couldn't bring himself to occupy the space you used to.
there's your coffee cup
the lipstick stain fades with time
charlie lazily made his way to the kitchen and to the coffee pot, a sad attempt to combat the drowsiness that he continuously fought. as he sipped the bitter substance he saw your cup that you filled every morning with your preferred mixture of cream and coffee, the white cup that once had a bright and solid out line of your lip print in your favorite shade of lipstick had now faded to a few smudges here and there, despite the fact that he hadn't washed it since you last used it.
if i can dream long enough
you'd tell me i'll be just fine
i'll be just fine
charlie never left his house anymore due to how empty he felt, so he often found himself falling in and out of sleep, but just short of being asleep long enough to dream of you. he tried to stay up for hours and hours in hopes of depriving himself of enough sleep so that when he finally fell into the abyss of rest, he could hear you reassure him that everything would be okay.
so i drown it out like i always do
dancing through our house
with the ghost of you
he shut himself off from everyone, ignoring their apologies and sorrowful looks by staying at home, replaying memories that took place in different rooms of the household. he'd sit in the kitchen, replaying times he'd walk in and see you dancing while cooking, or the flour fights you had when you two would bake cookies and other sweet treats. he'd find himself wandering the halls glancing at photos of the two of you, or sitting in the living room imagining what movies you'd be watching if you were still there.
cleaning up today
found that old zeppelin shirt
you wore when you ran away
and no one could feel your hurt
charlie could no longer stand to see the pile of dirty clothes because he knew how you hated not having clean clothes so he decided to wash a few. when he was separating the lights and darks, he found the led zeppelin shirt you wore the week you had run away from everything, the week you got in your car and drove until you felt free again. you had been so overwhelmed and devastated from everything, that you needed a break from things because no one could grasp your pain.
we're too young, too dumb
to know things like love
but i know better now
he remembered when you first met, it was love at first sight and everyone around you knew it, except you two. you were both just so caught up in each other and the feeling of being wild teenagers that you had no idea how truly in love you were. but standing there, looking at the life you built, charlie understood how much you really loved each other, even from that first meeting.
so i drown it out like i always do
dancing through our house
with the ghost of you
charlie ignored the ringing phone, most likely someone "just checking in!" and stepped into the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water, yet another attempt to stay awake, and as he glanced in the mirror he didn't see his tired and blood shot eyes nor did he see his sunken cheekbones and pale complexion, no, he saw you, he saw his memories of you getting ready, curling your hair or applying makeup, something he watched you do often. when he walked back into the hallway he replayed memories of you skipping through the halls or hiding behind a doorway waiting to jump out and scare him.
and i chase it down
with a shot of truth
dancing through our house
with the ghost of you
he knew it wasn't healthy, staying cooped up in the shadows, mourning every day on a continuous loop, but he couldn't stand the truth of what happened for more than a few minutes at a time and looking at your funeral pamphlet was his shot of truth that burned more than any alcohol he'd ever consumed. so he'd hide the paper and wander the house again and again. he'd look through the records you collected remembering which were your favorites and what tracks you'd play over and over. he'd glance at your jacket that hung by the door and remember all the times you'd purposely forget it just so he would bundle up with you when you were cold.
too young, too dumb
to know things like love
too young, too dumb
charlie hated his younger self for not realizing he loved you sooner, he wished he would've kissed you sooner, held you closer and just enjoyed you more times  than he did at 17. now at 22, with a few years of being in your relationship, he knew what being in love was like because of you.
so i drown it out like i always do
dancing through our house
with the ghost of you
he shut all the curtains and binds, shut his phone off for days and sat in complete and utter silence for hours on end. glancing at the books that sat on the shelves, all the ones that had your notes written in the margins and your favorite quotes highlighted. charlie grazed his fingers over your delicate handwriting and the soft paper pages, remembering how you would speak about the newest book you had been obsessing over. he'd look at pictures hung on the walls and replay the moments over and over again, never tiring of the way it filled his heart.
and i chase it down
with a shot of truth
that my feet don't dance
like they did with you
charlie could only reminisce for so long before the truth crept in and ruined his day all over again. he could only enjoy his thoughts and memories for so long before remembering: nothing is the same without you.

a/n: THIS WAS SO SAD IM SO SORRY BUT I LOVE THIS SONG AND I JUST FELT LIKE I SHOULD WRITE ABOUT IT AHHH I PROMISE THE NEXT UPDATE WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER AH! anyway i hope you enjoy! much love xx