Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Chapter 9

I sprang out of bed and darted for the bathroom, I made it just in time. Grabbing the the toilet bowl I flung my head down and retched hard. My throat filled with sour tasting acid and bile. My eyes watered and my stomach muscles ached, I eventually collapsed onto the floor my head still reeling from my rude awakening.

"Chloe dear" I heard my gran call out my name.

"I'm fine" I gasped still trying to catch my breath. I got up slowly and flushed the toilet as my Gran popped her head around the door.

"Ah one of the joys I'm afraid" Gran grimaced.

I nodded and laughed slightly.

"Yeah, I don't think I can get used to that" I began to brush my teeth, I needed the vile taste out of my mouth.

"I'll meet you in the car, don't be long" my gran smiled and disappeared down the hall.

Today was the day of my first scan, I was genuinely excited. Scared too.

I looked at my changing body in the mirror, my bump had really started form now it was still quite small at 12 weeks but it protruded neatly from my body forming an oval of perfection, my perfection.

I dressed myself quickly and tied back my brown hair, my hair thankfully was something that seemed to of blossomed during my pregnancy it was fuller and shinier and overall just looked better than normal.

I grabbed my handbag and tucked my maternity notes inside before heading out to the car.

"All set" Gran asked as I climbed into the back of Grandad's car.

"Yeah, feeling a bit more human now" I replied putting on my seatbelt.

I spent the journey reflecting on the last few weeks, my Grandparents had been great, we had cleared out the spare room ready to decorate as the nursery, I couldn't wait until it was finished all ready for the bundle of love I was growing inside.

Grandad had got me a private tutor, Pauline. she came by every day for a few hours to make sure I wouldn't fall behind on anything, I was right on track to pass my exams.

I had emailed Rachael quite a lot, though I still had not told her of my situation, the more time that passed I realised I probably never would. It hurt far too much to think of home, to think of Dougie.

I still cried some nights when the loneliness set in, I would remember the way he used to look at me and how it felt when we kissed. I was certain I would never love another, not the way I loved him.

"I'll wait in the car, don't forget the picture" Grandad smiled at me and I grinned back and nodded.

I climbed out of the car and raised my head to take in all of the hospital, it was a magnificent building really, I bet it was filled with history, I made a mental note to ask Pauline later.

I followed the big signs to reception where a lady directed Gran and I to 'Maternity'.

The corridors seamed to stretch on forever, with various notice boards and leaflets. I quickened my pace a little and sucked in a sharp breath when we reached the waiting room. I dropped my maternity notes into the tray and anxiously took a seat.

I sat for what felt like hours nervously twiddling my thumbs (it was actually only around 15 minutes) before someone called my name.

I shot Gran a nervous glance and she took my hand leading me to the scanning room.

I took a deep breath and awkwardly shifted myself onto the bed.

I jumped a little as the cold jelly was squeezed onto my belly.

I looked up at the screen so ready to see my little miracle, and there it was, a baby, my baby all perfect with its big head and tiny body wriggling around happily in its blissful water world.

I felt my eyes swell and water as Gran began to excitedly point at its tiny little hands and feet.

"Baby is good and healthy, and very active, your estimated due date based on the scan is 11th march. Just under 6 months to go.

"If you stop by reception on your way out, they will you give you your appointment for your next scan" the lady smiled kindly as she passed me a little strip of black and white photos of the little life inside of me.

"Thank you" I positively beamed squeezing Grans hand as we left.