Tris Survives

Chapter 4 Tobias POV

I wake up to Christina shaking my shoulder. Her finger is pressed to her lip, then the other pointed at Tris. She walks out and I walk to the window and open the curtains. I crack my neck. It's stiff from the chair I slept on. When I turn around Christina is back with a stack of clothes for Tris and I. She hands me the clothes and disappears. I separate my clothes from Tris's. I look Tris. She's beautiful. If only she was herself. I feel something slightly deflate inside of me at the thought. I place her stack of clothes on the chair I slept on. I head for the door and glance back at her once more. It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up to. And I don't think I ever will. I turn for the door again and close the door quickly, and quietly.                   

        "Hey, Tobias. Sorry to wake you so early." Christina shouts from down the hall. She waves me over and I walk toward her like a zombie. She is with Matthew. I hope this is about something good. I wanted to be there when Tris wakes up. I wanted to maybe jog her memory of something even if it was only a slight head tilt through recognition. I wouldn't care. All I want is Her back

         "Matthew has a plan." Christina says when I approach them with only a few feet between us. 

        "And what's that?" I ask looking at Matthew.

        "It's about Tris, I believe I may be able to restore her memory. It's a long shot, but if my research was correct, there is a possibility." Matthew says.

Tris's memory? Restored? How? Her memories have already been destroyed by the Memory Serum. I don't say anything. I can't respond.

        "He was up all night last night after he and Cara carried her to the hospital after they found her in the Weapons Lab unconscious." Christina breaks the silence.

Its takes a minute for this to sink in, but I respond, "What do we do?" I ask looking at Christina then at Matthew.

        "Memory comes in three stages; encoding, storage, and retrieval. If we re-encode her memory with the knowledge erased from the serum and have her know a lot about what happened the past 16 years of her life, it may re-jog bits and pieces of her memory. Although maybe not all. It will take some time for this, but it is possible." Matthew explains. " I would have to do C.A.T scans every week to see activity in that part of the brain. I then have to make a serum to actually restore the pieces.  Oh, and one more thing. She would have to want to learn about her past for it to work. Its only happened once before here at the  Bureau. And that was before my time." 

        "Lets start today." I say instantly after this sinks in. "Matthew, you obviously know what you're doing, so why don't we have a little study thing with you that she goes to and-"

        "Tobias," Matthew shakes his head slightly, "We have to let her decide. She has a right to her life. We can't control her. Also, there is only a slight possibility it will even work becau-" 

        "I don't care about probability! We have to try! We have to get her back! we can't just giv-

        "Tobias," I stop and look at Christina and Matthew. I follow there eyes to find Tris standing next to her door. My eyes lock on her. All my thoughts and anger disappear.  I want to run and hug her and tell her I love her. Like if it was the real Tris. Christina walks toward her and says something I can't hear. Matthew pulls me around the corner to a bench for me to sit. Where I do. I can't think. I can't focus on anything but Tris.

Matthew sits next to me. 

        "Hey, I'm sorry,'' Matthew grabs my shoulder, "I will try my hardest. I promise."

I'm crying. I can't hide my emotions like I did when I was young dealing with my father. I'm dealing with Tris. I promised I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. And this is my fault. If I hadn't left, I could have saved her. Maybe, not. But I still would have been here. I left. I will never be able to forgive myself. It's all my fault.

                                                                                                                                                ~

Later that afternoon, I meet up with Matthew again. I want to ask some guy to guy questions. I knock twice before entering the lab. When I enter, Matthew has 4 different books opened and he is at his computer.

        "Are those books about serums?" I ask pointing at the books

        "Yeah, I've looked in them multiple times. I now just have them open to refer back to." He replys.

I walk around his desk to look at what he is doing on the computer. On the screen are what looks to be test conclusions of some sort.

        "Whats that?" 

        "They're past experiments dealing with serums that are opposites of the ones given to the factions. Like a serum to lie instead of tell the truth. or a serum to experience happiness instead of fear, etc." Matthew explains, "They have made a Reverse Serum for all the faction serums except the Abnegation's. Sadly, that's the serum we need for Tris." 

I nod in response.

        "Luckily, they recorded all of the Reverse Memory Serum recipes ever tried so we won't repeat those mistakes." Matthew says as he make hand gestures.

        "What if we can't create one?" I ask, nervously. It takes a minute before he responses.

        "Then the Tris we now know, will be the one we remember." He looks down.

         "I need to ask, If we can't get her back, would you suggest uh, me seeing her again?" I feel awkward asking but, I have to.

        "Only if it feels okay with you and you love her because of who she is, not who she was. I say go for it."

He has a good point. If the Reverse Memory Serum doesn't work, I can't hold who she was against her. I say goodbye to Matthew and head to the dormitories. I'm the last one here, every one is already asleep. I slip into my bed and start to think about Tris. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I still feel like I'm in a nightmare, or my fear landscape. I'm sure if I went into my fear landscape, losing Tris would be in there. I can't think anymore and drift to sleep. My day was rough from the start. 1 day without Tris down, who knows how many more to go.