Take Me By The Hand And Tell Me You'd Take Me Anywhere *An Al Potter Love Story*

Spontaneously Unassembling Molecules

Gag me with a spoon.

Dinner is hellicious.

I don’t know who writes the stories in the bathroom stall, with the Valley Girl Violet pen, but they tell rumors much better than the Sarah’n’Becki’n’Melody crew that Rose associates with.

Allegedly, Laura Wells Did The Deed with Aaron Crew at a end-of-summer-partay. And then Blammo! Her eggo was preggo. She was planning on getting a hasty abortion, but one trip to the doctor informed her of her temporarily bum ovaries. It didn’t matter, apparently, because Aaron was planning on flaking out on her anyways.

In fact, I tell these gossip tales better than the Pops and Valley-Violet-Girl. I should start my own chain on a bathroom wall, a metal notebook for people to refer to…with a Leg Warmer Orange pen?

Wait, no, I could not. Orange is so out, no one would read it. Just like how red lips were bigger than Cassie Locken’s thighs and now you may as well eat sand and sea salt than wear it in public. No, Nude and Just Blossomed Hibiscus Pink are bad now, totally legit.

Just like how Jason Perri’s cuteness is totally legit now that he cut his hair and everyone realized that he didn’t grow his hair out just because he had funky ears; in fact, his ears are perfectly socially acceptable.

“What’s really socially unacceptable is what Leanne Menard was wearing last weekend on her date with Brain Pilt. When did horizontal stripes come back into fashion?” Sarah gabs.

Melody swerves, “I did see Larry Wells’s (i.e, ¼ of the boy band I’ve created The Spells) girlfriend carrying a bag with stripes…”

Becki scoffed. “Melody, that bag had vertical stripes.”

“So? Maybe Leanne thought she could bring them back like that.” Becki and Melody had some long standing argument going on, like Becki took Melody’s Poprocks back in second grade. Or at least, that’s what their argument amounted to.

On another note, when did boy bands come back? That’s kicking old school, from like, the 90’s.

“What did you say?”

Sarah’s eyes burned through my forehead and figuratively speaking, right through my skull.

“Uh…just that their were a lot of boy bands in the 1990’s and then after that…there weren’t…as many. And then all of a sudden, The Spells…come out and everyone just, uh loves them. Was all I was saying.”

Sarah nodded, her laser eyes burning a hole between my eyes. “I see.” She looked to Rose, then back at me. “Do you like them?”

I’d rather bag my face than listen to them.

“Um, no, not really.”

“Huh.”

“Did you guys see the Mallots vs. Puddlemere match in July? Isn’t Ryan Gerry just so cute?” Melody tried fruitlessly to cover up.

Becki started contributing, and the conversation turned into a complete guy-swooning match.

Quidditch players, actors, models, even the odd muggle football or movie star.

Personally, I believed Brendon Urie’s magnificent body was totally smoking. Swoon. Fangirl. Swoon some more.

Anyways, I need to concoct an epic escape plan.

(a.) spontaneously unassemble my molecules and then reassemble them in an alternate location (i.e. my dorm) using only the sheer power of my mind

(b.) catch the Great Hall on fire