Jikook oneshots~

Your presence and your absence (Part II)

People say love is nothing but dreams of the youth, promises of maturity and commitment for the old age.

People also says that love is nothing but illusions of a mind, needy for some care in the world and something to save them from their own cage.

People say it could be anything, but at the same time, love could be nothing.

And it's all well and fine for Jungkook because he agrees with all. He doesn't know if what he agrees to is correct or not but he does it anyway.

It's a pretty foolish thing, Jungkook thinks. Because it is. Love for him is nothing but a foolish game where he always looses. It's a bit inconvenient too, He thinks again and for him it's true again. Love is just an inconvenient thing that he always has to come across.

It's not fair too, And it's right for him too.

Love for Jeon Jungkook is unfair as he loves too much. He loves someone beyond what should be considered healthy for him and he is absolutely okay with it. He's okay because the one he loves is Jimin and according to him the elder deserves all the love he gets.

And so Jungkook always tries to love a bit more, so as to not fall behind all the others who love Jimin too. Because that's what the reality is, everyone loves Jimin and Jungkook is just one person in Hundreds, thousands even. He knows that maybe he shouldn't think like this but he's young and naive and he can be a bit foolish, he's already in a foolish love with someone.

Might as well be foolish anyways.

And Jungkook asks himself several questions because he finds some consolation from them.

Does he want to love Jimin?

Does he really need Jimin when he yearns for warmth?

Does he really crave the smiles Jimin gives him, more than food? Jungkook laughs a bit at this question because even though he loves food, maybe somehow, somewhere along the line he has fallen in love with Jimin a bit more.

Jungkook continues his inner monologue then, because he has nothing else to do anyways, sitting there on the hard steel chair with someone telling him something that is all irritating static for Jungkook.

Does He want to believe in Jimin? Believe in him when he doesn't believe in any thing else?

Does he want to hate Jimin the most whenever they have a fight even though he doesn't hate anyone else even when they bruise him.

Does he want to have his wings clipped by Jimin's captivating love everyday for an eternity?

and most of all, Does he want to stay?

And all answers come to Jungkook as he sees Jimin staring at him from the phone as he is cute like that and has the elder as his home screen. He knows tho, he knows all the answers of the questions .

Jungkook needs the love, the warmth, to believe in Jimin, to hate him, to be his broken bird with which Jimin can do whatever he chooses to do, he needs Jimin to stop him from leaving with only a gaze, needs him to fill that hole in his heart that opens up anew everyday.

Jungkook needs Jimin to stop him from bleeding from that very hole.

So, yes Jungkook has got it accurately. He believes in everything people have said to him about love, because they all are true.

Therefore in the end, him saying that love is nothing but love being a foolish game is also true as he feels himself playing on even though he knows that he has been check-mated a long time ago.

Jungkook knows all this and still believes it all .

Even now, sitting on the uncomfortable metal chair, he still believes it all.

Even now, listening to a pretty man drawl on and on about something that Jungkook has been trying his hardest to tune out, he still believes it all.

Even now, when Jimin is somewhere far away from Jungkook, alone, in a white room, he still believes it all.

Even now, with Jungkook in a small office himself, eyes trained down on the white tiles, he still believes it all.

Even now, when his face is wet from his tears and Jimin isn't there to chuckle at him about it and wipe the water from his eyes, he still believes it all.

Even now, as he keeps hearing that word, fall out of the pretty man's mouth even though all he wants to do is bury himself in Jimin's sheets and cry, Jungkook believes it all.

Because that is what he can do anyways, because for him believing it all isn't a choice, but a necessity.

Because even though as he looks at the paper given to him with the words he doesn't want to hear or see written in bold and capital, Jungkook still believes it all.

"Love is nothing," Jungkook remembers Jimin saying this the day before.

Then why does it hurt so much?

Why does it feel like the hole you always healed is singing again, blood flowing out continuously.

Why?

Why isn't love nothing for me?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Jungkook feels another racking sob leave his mouth as his mind conjures up with the answer.

Because you love him, that's the reality. Even though the reality of the one you love isn't real.

So yes, Jeon Jungkook still loves Park Jimin.

Even though the words on the paper he's holding scream at him that it's foolish to still believe it all.

But as Jungkook already said, it was a foolish game he was playing. One which he had lost a long time ago.

So, Even though the words spell out,

SCHIZOPHRENIA : last level- Catatonia.

Jeon Jungkook still believes it all.

Well everything except what Jimin does.

~~*~~

Lmao that was hard to write,, because I kept thinking that it would turn out really confusing and shiz but yeah~ this is the part two. It's the last part okay, *laughs* I don't want them to suffer more~

To help you a little, Jimin in part one kept thinking that Jungkook is a figment of his imagination and says that love is nothing because for him his love his Jungkook who as per him, doesn't exist in reality.

Jungkook however actually does exist and this entire monologue happens when he is sitting in the hospital as Jimin has admitted himself by saying that he feels he doesn't believe in anything that is real and rather the world which he created is real.

And lmao yes,, the pretty doctor was our very own Kim Seokjin, i'm just not over dope okay *sniffs*.

Anyways,, this A/N turned out a little long but yeah~ I appreciate all the reads and votes guys,, y'all are the best and also my bestie for encouraging so much.

@gits_03 I love ya girl~~

BUT ANYWAYS!! TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS ANGST I'M GONNA WRITE A SMUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPPIE *laughs* AND DON'T FORGET TO SUBMIT YOUR REQUESTS!!

Demi out!