Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A. Because he was outstanding in his field.
Q. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
A. There was nothing left but de Brie.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
Why are frogs are so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
