Questioning My Masculinity (A Moriarty Gender Bender) [Sherlock Fanfic]

Weakness In It's Purest Form

Jim Moriarty now lay sprawled out across the bed - the opposite side of the blood stains - trying to forget the horror that was feminine products. Honestly, he had tried as hard as he could to get the tampon in, but apparently he was either doing it wrong or they just were extremely painful to use. After one attempt that caused him pain he thought the safe option was to stick a pad in his pants and move on. Deciding he didn't want to be naked if someone happened to walk in, no matter how much he doubted that, he pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before collapsing into his present state.

His mind was reeling now, trying to process what seemed like impossible information using the limited resources he had. For some reason his brain just wasn't working at full capacity, and that - to his annoyance - completely lowered his normal thought processes to that of any other man or woman just walking the streets. He continued to try and tell himself that whatever he was seeing and feeling wasn't real, but the natural panic that was overtaking him outweighed his judgment.

If I were thinking normally this wouldn't happen. I wouldn't be panicking like I am now. He silently cursed whatever drug had been forced into his system. Behind closed lids his eyes were darting all over the place, searching for a way to calm himself down while his heart raced a million miles an hour. I need a distraction. Something to take my mind off it. He decided he might as well clean up the mess he'd made. So slowly climbing out the bed he got to work stripping off the sheets, being sure to avoid the red stain that would only jog his memory. Once they were wrapped up in a ball he found the laundry bin and threw them inside.

With that reminder taken care of he wasn't really sure what else to do. He walked about the room picking up things from the floor, straightening the paintings on the walls, and putting a new set of sheets on the mattress that he found in the closet. But after that there was nothing left to do. Nothing to distract him from the thoughts on his mind. How was he hallucinating so vividly? And being a woman of all things? He knew very well what he thought of femininity of any kind in a man.

His eyes found their way to the door, giving it a wary look as his feet guided him over there. One hand sat nervously over the door handle, and in his mind he wondered if it was smart to move out of the bedroom in such a state. There was no telling what he would see, or how he would react to anything or anyone once he set foot outside these doors. But he needed some kind of distraction or else he was going to drive himself insane.

"Jamie? Are you awake?"

Jim paused just before pulling the door open when he heard the voice of his right hand man, Sebastian Moran. Seb? What is he doing here? And why did he call me Jamie? Normally Moriarty would distaste Sebastian being in his house without having been called, but at this point he was so confused that his voice was a welcome knife through the fog. The door swung open before him and his brown eyes met the blue ones of his sniper, whom had a wide grin on his face.

"So, you are awake." Sebastian said smugly.

Moriarty sighed with relief and asked, "Seb what happened last night?"

Sebastian frowned - oddly enough sending flutters through Moriarty's stomach - leaning down so he was eye level with Jim. "You got hit with some nasty anesthetics last night Jamie. Are you feeling all right?"

Moriarty groaned. "Why are you calling me Jamie, Sebastian? It's JIM. J - I - M." Jim would've continued if he hadn't seen the confused look on Sebastian's face. "Seb?"

"It must've done a bit more damage than I thought. Probably not all the way out of your system." Seb muttered.

"I'm fine Sebastian." Moriarty growled in frustration. "I want to know what's wrong with you."

Moriarty wasn't sure what was going on. Sebastian, the one man he could trust with almost anything, was playing along as if he knew the hallucination that was plaguing Jim's mind. The frown that formed on Jim's face only seemed to make Sebastian upset; his hand finding it's way under Moriarty's chin in a way that sent chills up his spine. What is this feeling? Am I nervous? This is Sebastian I'm talking to, why would I be nervous?

Sebastian smiled widely, and before Jim could react he leaned down again and pressed his lips to Jim's. Suddenly his mind was nothing but soup, his thoughts all flowing together as he could only focus on the sensation of Sebastian's lips on his own. Brown eyes fluttered closed as Jim's arms found their way almost instinctually to Seb's neck without the consulting criminal's notice, pulling the sniper closer, with absolutely no resistance. When Seb finally pulled away he had a wider grin on his face as he said, "Come on, I've got breakfast ready." And then walked away.

It took two seconds for Moriarty to realize what he had done. He had kissed his sniper, given in to the feminine hallucination, given in to natural human instinct. It took two more seconds for Moriarty to consider throwing himself out the window to end his torment. And it took two minutes for him to finally gain control of his feet and start walking into the kitchen.