Accidentally on Purpose

Chapter Forty-Seven

Sometime around four a.m, I jolted awake.

This time, it wasn't because of another nightmare. I just simply woke up out of nowhere, my eyes suddenly sliding open. My mind was hazy as my brain started to work, and then I remembered how I had called Jonah earlier.

Trying not to make a sound, I sat up slowly on my bed, and I immediately spotted Jonah lying on his side on the floor next to my bed, with my kitten sleeping against Jonah's back, as if they both had each other's backs as they kept watch on me. It was adorable. I could see the way Jonah's eyes closed peacefully, his lips drawn in a straight line, and his chest rising up and down in a steady pace. One of his hands was placed under the pillow, and I could see that he was freezing a little, his shoulders slightly shivering every few seconds.

I immediately felt bad that I had let him sleep on the floor, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel touched that he chose to stay here with me. I silently got up and lowered myself on the floor next to him, admiring the way he restfully looked as he was sleeping.

There was a light snore coming out of his slightly open mouth, and my lips pulled into a little smile. He must've been so tired—he was asleep when I called him and I ruined his rest, and it probably had taken him a long time before he successfully fell asleep again.

I spent a long time on the floor, keeping my distance from his body so I wouldn't accidently wake him up, just looking at him and watching as his chest rose and fell. His forehead knitted every few while as if he was thinking deeply, before it relaxed again.

I kept thinking about how lucky I was to have him right here, sleeping next to me as he kept guard on me and my nightmares. Months ago, I wouldn't even dream about coming face-to-face with Jonah Gibbs without wanting to piss my pants, let alone having him in my room. He was more than everything I could have hoped for, and I was glad that I had chosen to fall in love with him and not anyone else.

By some weird twist of fate, he also chose me to let into his life. What saddened me was that I really wanted to say that it really was just life's natural way of drawing us closer, that it really was just fate, but really, I was the one who forced my way into his life, and it was simply luck that he let me, because I truthfully didn't expect that it would work. I didn't regret it, but sometimes I wondered what he would do if he knew.

And I couldn't help but felt guilty.

After a while, I moved closer to him and lightly brushed his cheek. His eyes immediately flickered open, and he was staring at me in confusion as he blinked slowly.

"You're a really light sleeper," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

"What are you doing down here?" he croaked out. I smiled and lifted one of my shoulders in a shrug. "It's cold here."

"Yeah," I said, my fingers still on his cheeks.

"Did another nightmare wake you up?" he asked softly, his eyes showing concern and fear. Fear. For me.

"No," I told him honestly, then I said to change the topic, "My bed is way more comfortable, you know."

He cracked a smile, but there was still a hint of worry in his eyes. "Then why aren't you there?"

"It's lonely up there," I said teasingly.

"We wouldn't fit," he said as he placed his own hand on top of mine. "I'd just end up kicking you off the bed."

I laughed lightly. "I wouldn't doubt it."

He reached over and grabbed the blanket from my bed and placed it on top of my body and his own. It wasn't a really large blanket and it barely covered us, but I didn't feel like going downstairs and getting another blanket from the storage room.