Less Than Alive: Still Kicking

Fights: Bip Bap and Bam

Least, I thought it was going to get shitty. Then something rather strange happened. They began slowing down. The screams became hollow and stretched as if I was hearing them through a long tin can. Even my body was unresponsive, every motion I made slow and forced, as if the world had turned to molasses for everybody. Everyone except Black Ruby.

One of the leather boys swung at her, his fist going just below her chin at a speed that would have knocked out a grown minotaur. She bent her head back and avoided it, as if she were merely walking by and not in any danger; then she spun around, pirouetting in a tight circle and jammed her heel into his mouth.

His back bent, and a slow-motion ‘omph’ escaped him along with a jet of spittle.

Black Ruby turned and looked past me, eyes glinting with fervor as she dove forwards and ran across the stage, the sound of her dull foot-strikes not reaching me ‘til seconds after the fact.

To my left, one of Protagonist's henchmen was rearing up, his eyes fixed with firm determination while the goon in front of me got ready to tackle yours truly into oblivion.

Ruby jumped through the air, landed on the balls of her feet and tucked into a roll that sent her flying past me. Her blonde mane flowed past the tip of my nose. It smelled like strawberries.

She twisted around mid-roll, her left fist whipping out and connecting with the charging henchman’s chin. I saw the wave of impact travel through his face and his eyes roll up into his forehead before she delivered another blow, this one to the side of his skull.

Righting herself, Black Ruby moved to my side, then turned to show me her back. I stared at her as she bent forwards with her rear sticking in the air, the hem of her short skirt moving up slightly as her legs lifted from the ground.

I swallowed hard in slow motion.

Her feet cut the air beside my face and twisted around, both of them glowing a deep indigo before smashing into the side of the second leather boy with an audible crack. He flew away, smoking as his legs flailed around and he tumbled across the stage and off the side.

Time snapped back, like a bungee cord that tried to bounce an overweight opera singer.

The crowd moved once more, writhing about while the braver tried to escape between the rows of approaching soldiers. Vans and police cars were parking beyond the street, the noise of their sirens blasting us with a concussive wave that blended with the screams of panicked students.

Three of the leather boys were on the ground, twitching violently as their comrades blinked and searched for Black Ruby.

They found her. Standing right beside me. I saw her gulp then set her jaw, standing up to her full height with that noble more-badasser-than-thou look. Then her hands glowed and those that seemed ready to charge hesitated. “We do not have time for you, filth,” she said with all the ceremony of someone brushing dust off one’s shoulder. Out of her hands came a long strand of magic that fluctuated and oscillated as it grew.

The magical cord snapped taut between us and the leather boys before pushing out towards them. I saw it dig into their chests and slowly push them back with what seemed to be next to no effort. The beam hardened and flashed before delivering a solid blow to the few too slow to dodge.

This lady’s cray-cray.

“We should leave,” she said as she turned to me. “My magic isn’t infinite, and the City Guard is approaching. They’re most likely blocking off our exits.”

“Um, yeah, good idea?” I said.

She nodded, surveyed the scene, then brushed up against me, the folds of her uniform caressing my own. “Don’t pay attention to your surroundings. And, I know it’s hard, but suppress your magic.”

Pfft, hard. Hah! So, of course, I didn’t listen. My eyes were drawn to the crowd where students were moving about, trying to escape the police forces of the City Guard. A pair of crimson eyes caught my attention and I soon found myself staring at Happy End.

She perked an eyebrow and me and mouthed the words: “Not too shabby” before the world disappeared into an indigo sea.

When the world decided to come back, I found myself with my face jammed in a weather grate, puking out my light dinner. A warm hand pressed itself against my back and began to rub little circles. Hey, who ever said puking your heart out on the side of a deserted alleyway with a person that’s basically a stranger was ever bad?

“It’s normal. The aftereffects of teleporting for the first time.” Black Ruby giggled and my heart almost cracked. “I remember the first time I teleported on my own; I was sick for three days.”

Starting to reveal adorkable memories of youth? Check.

“Of course, I was only three years old at the time.”

Stories that involve her working magic at an age when I still thought that eating my own boogers was cool and that girls really did have cooties. Check. Double check for the little fact that I still can’t pull that kind of stunt off today. “That was, um, interesting, back there.”

“Indeed, it was. And I think we might have stalled Protagonist there. But he’ll be back.” She stared up and away, her eyes glazing over before they sharpened and focused on me. “Thanks for that, Wedgie. I appreciate the help.”

Even though all I did was cause a distraction by being a bumbling idiot? Sure, no problem! “Hehe, anytime?”

“Now, about lunch... I’ll hold you to it, you know,” she said before winking.

Yes.

I mean.

Hot damn, yes!