as i sit at my dining room table, listening to "if i'm being honest" by the wonderful dodie clark, i have to come to the conclusion that i do not like you anymore.
because if I am being honest, i've been hoping for nothing.
i've been living in a fantasy for two years, thinking that one day we will be together, but you have not acknowledged me or started any conversation since sixth or seventh grade.
i am now listening to "Mamma Mia" from the second movie. fitting.
this week, i have come to my senses. ever since i wrote about him in that little ditty on my wondrous opus, "i want to know why", i have come up from the water of Fantasy and i have breathed the cold, crisp air of Reality. you don't like me; if you did, then i think you would have told me. but you didn't.
if you do in fact like me, then you've had your chance to tell me. your time is running out. because i'm maturing me even more, and things aren't really a fantasy for me anymore. don't get me wrong; imagining stories with your crush is a fun ordeal, but i've been doing it for so long that it makes me worry that if we ever were together, it wouldn't live up to me fantasies' expectations. have i set the bar too high with fantasies? it appears i have.
it's not ever going to work out between us. it just isn't. i mean its always nice to dream about these things, but he hasn't been in my dreams, which is a usual occurrence; maybe that's my subconscious telling me something.
things may change as soon as i step into second period tomorrow, but as of right now, i'm going to bask in my newfound freedom.
because i am finally free.
cue the high school musical.
