five hours (bxb)

five hours: fourth hour

fourth hour

"How long have we been in here for?" I could tell Tanner was tired, it probably wasn't even that late, but he was starting to doze off with his head against the steel wall.

"A few hours, I guess. You're the one with the phone." He picked up his iPhone and the time flashed, but I was more focused on the battery life. It was nearly drained, meaning we would soon be plunged into darkness.

"It's 10:30."

I felt my body go ridged. It couldn't be. That would mean I missed it. Lynn was born at 10:12 on this day, and that's when I wanted to die. That was the plan. I missed it. It was like missing 11:11 and not getting to make your wish except amplified about a million times. My heart was beating rapidly and I couldn't breathe.

"No, no, no, no! It can't be! It can't!" I grabbed my head and fell back against the wall of the elevator, the loud sound of my body hitting it echoing off the walls.

"What is it? Wyatt, are you okay?" Tanner was by my side in an instant, trying to move my hands from my face. I pulled away from him and started to yell.

"No, I'm not okay! I'm alive!" I didn't even care that that wasn't supposed to come out, that it was supposed to be secret. I felt even angrier that the thought of being alive almost made me feel relieved.

He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at me in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm supposed to be dead. I'm not supposed to be here! I'm supposed to be with Lynn. But I'm not because I'm stuck in an elevator." I gestured around wildely before clutching my head again as the voice came back, the one I was trying so hard to get rid of.

It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.

"I need out!" I turned and started to pound on the doors, my knuckles hurting with every hit. I knew it was useless and there was no way out until someone came to rescue us. I still didn't let up though. I kept banging until I felt Tanner's arms wrapping around me, his hands grabbing ahold of my wrists.

"Wyatt, calm down! Wyatt!" Tanner was hugging me from behind, and I started to melt into his embrace. I shouldn't have, it wasn't fair of me to be enjoying my life. My heart rate began to slow and I took in a few shallow breaths before letting them out shakily.

"Why are you supposed to be dead?"

I didn't answer, I just stared at the slight dent in the wall from where my fists had been pounding.

"Tell me!"

"I was going to jump off central bridge," I whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear. I felt so ashamed, but I couldn't figure out if it was because I had planned on doing it in the first place or because I was uable to go through with it. All I knew was I hated myself.

"Why?" Tanner sounded angry with me before, but now he just sounded sad. Like somehow I had betrayed him.

I pulled away from Tanner and distanced myself, standing at the other end of the elevator. "Because it's all my fault. I ruined everything. No one want's me here, not even my own parents can look at me. I destroyed them. I destroyed everything just so we could see some fireworks and it's not fair! It should be me, not her!"

"Don't you get it, nothing's fair!" He pinned my shoulders to the wall and I looked at him with confusion and worry. I was wrong before, he could be intimidating.

"What?"

"Life's not fair. Don't tell me you haven't heard that million times. It's true. Nothing is fair. I lost my brother and you lost your sister and no one can tell us why but we have to move on because there is nothing we can do. What if you don't get to see her, huh? What if there is no heaven? That's why people don't want to die, because your future after that becomes the unknown." He released his hold on me and stepped back into the middle of the elevator. I could tell from all the thought he had put into it that it wasn't just me. He had been there too. Tanner had wanted to kill himself.

"Why does it matter to you anyways? I could have taken the stairs and be dead right now and you wouldn't care!" He would have never met me, the boy from a floor down. I would be dead and he would be stuck in the elevator alone, or maybe he would be on his date right now. And when he woke up the next morning he might hear a whisper about the boy who lived in this apartment building and killed himself, but he would never be able to put a face to a name and he would never know why.

"But don't you see, that didn't happen! This all happened for a reason. The elevator was supposed to get stuck and you were supposed to live. And now I'm here. I'm here and I do care and I do want you here and you do matter."

"Why?"

"Because I like you, okay?!"

Tanner grabbed my jaw and forcefully pressed his lips against mine. It was my first kiss. You needed to talk to people to kiss someone, and I didn't talk to people. I wanted to make it out of this world and hurt no one in the process. But it seemed like that wouldn't be possible anymore.

I began to move my lips against his soft ones, despite what every ounce of my being was telling me to do. I knew it was wrong but I didn't care. I had craved this kind of contact.

Tanner pulled away and placed a peck on either side of my mouth.

"You are important," he whispered. I could feel his breath on my lips and I knew I should open my eyes. I should open my eyes and push him away because I couldn't let this happen, but all at the same time I couldn't make it stop.

And so I grabbed his shirt and pressed him into the wall, pressing my lips to his so hard they would probably bruise. The kiss was all passion and frustration, but he didn't seem to mind.

When I finally pulled away and looked at Tanner, I saw a faint smile playing on his lips.

And I knew in that instant that -despite how selfish it was- I was happy that I was alive and here with Tanner. I wanted to see his smile a zillion more times before I died. Because he was the one person that had cared about me in along time and I wasn't ready to let that go. I was too young to die, I wanted to do things, go places. Maybe with Tanner.

I'm sure Lynn wanted that too, the voice whispered.

But this time I ignored the voice. Instead, I smiled back at Tanner.

By the end of the fourth hour, I liked him more than I should.

*a/n if you read this story before today (26/10/14) you may want to go back and check out how Lynn dies in the prologue because it's been changed because what the hell was I even doing before -_-