Star Wars: Defiance

Six

Word Count: 3173

It was easy at first—keeping to himself. Kylo was used to the loneliness. It was his constant companion in The Order, it would be his constant companion here. At least while Rey was busy working on other things.

She visited him for every meal, and they would talk long through the night. Hearing her voice, having her presence near, was a gift he refused to take for granted. It kept Snoke's throaty rasp at bay and let him have his own mind back, or at least long enough to where he didn't go mad. It was a respite, it was mercy—one Rey did even realize she had given him.

Now, watching from a small hill as the sun rose, Kylo thought back on all the wrong he had done. He did not deserve Rey's kindness, he thought. He did not deserve much at all. While he was under The Order's influence, he had wreaked havoc upon countless planets and destroyed even more lives. He had hunted down Rey and her friends. He had murdered his own father.

A sharp, cutting pain arose in his chest. He had had a father, and while he may have been a lousy one, Kylo had still had him. But Rey had no one, nothing to call her own.

Kylo lumbered back inside his hut. It was times like these that he wished for Rey's companionship. He needed her guiding presence through this pain. He needed her.

At first, when he became the Supreme Leader, he had thought that he could have changed the First Order's ideology. He thought that he could introduce some of the methods used by the Republic, the ones that were good and fit into the regime he imagined.

Kylo thought he could have the best of both worlds and do it alone. He was used to doing things alone, so why would leadership be any different?

Only now, did he realize, that to be a leader, he would have to be leading people who were susceptible to change. The Order was not like that, Kylo saw now. Hux had bred his stormtroopers to think a certain way from birth, Rey's traitor friend being the only known anomaly. Hux, like the other commanders, lusted after power and power alone. They would not align their ideals with that of the Resistance, not on any account.

Kylo's plan to change the First Order into something good fell apart before they even had enough time to take shape.

. . .

Poe found Rey meditating on a cliff's edge. Her eyes were closed and her hair was coiled in her signature three tight buns. She looked peaceful, content. He did not want to disturb her, but it had been two weeks since she promised him answers, and she still had yet to deliver.

"Rey?" asked Poe, tentative.

Rey turned at the sound of his voice, a small smile spreading across her face. "Hi, Poe."

"Hey. I was wondering if we could talk?" At the words, Rey's face froze in what he thought was fear. He blinked again and her expression vanished, replaced by neutrality.

Rey stood and turned to him. "Sure. About what?"

She seemed tense, but Poe would ask about that later. Right now, he needed answers.

"I wanted to ask about the Supremacy again. Specifically, Kylo Ren and Snoke's guards."

"What about them?"

Poe shifted. "I was thinking about what you said, how it took a lot of energy out of you when you infiltrated the First Order. I get that part of it, I guess, but the one thing that doesn't add up is how you got past Snoke's guards—who are trained in combat from birth—and Kylo Ren."

"Ah," Rey adverted her gaze. With a sigh, she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "I should have told you from the start. You deserve to know."