Possibility

The Beginning

People are cruel, and you learned that quickly. However, at first you had assumed it was just the way the world was. Sweet little you had no earthly idea it was because you were just a bit too big. Just a tad too much. Unfortunately, you learned that later, though you learned it at a young age. People were cruel and mean and disgusting- to you, and all because you were a few sizes too many. Boys would visibly cringe when they accidentally brushed up against you, girls would snicker into their hands when they saw you uncomfortably tug at your shirt or pants. Sometimes boys would gag- other times girls would whisper behind your back, wondering why you were the way you were.

School was full of bullies and they all loved to target you. So you, oh poor little you, you had to grow thick skin. Your smiles were replaced by the ever feared resting bitch face. Your soft spoken voice was replaced with a bitter and venomous one- and you never ever, let anyone see you cry. Not a single living soul. Not again.

Only then did they back off, claiming that they feared being eaten or sat on. Unfortunately, by changing how you did- many people did not want to approach you. This made friends hard to come by, so it was no surprise to you when you started out your Freshman year with no one. You didn't expect to meet anyone either. This was High School, you either had your own little group of friends already, or you didn't. There really was no in between. Not like it mattered, you could start of with a plethora of friends- once Graduation came and went, more than half of those friendswould be nothing but memories. That's how it always was, and that's how anyone who'd survived High School would explain it to you.

So of course you never expected to meet him. You never expected to have to utter out an apology as you sat at the far corner of his lunch table. No matter how many walls you built or precautions you took, your shyness never faltered.

"Sorry..", you'd murmured, pressing past him, "I just- there's no where else open. I won't bother you- just- pretend I'm not here. But- uhm- if it really bothers you, I can just leave- I'm not that hungry anyways.."

"N-No! It's uh- it's fine! We're sitting here for that same reason, heh.", he'd sputtered out.

"Oh. Okay. Thanks.. I guess?"

"Ye-Yeah! No uh, no problem..", he'd replied. You looked away, unable to catch his friend nudging him, "I'm Park- I mean Peter! I'm Peter. Peter Parker."

You turned your head towards him once more, a nervous smile pulling across his lips when you did, "Oh uh- I'm [Y/f/n]. [Y/f/n] [Y/l/n]."

That's how it all began. Your doom- your kryptonite- it all came about because of a nervous apology and an equally nervous greeting. You'd become completely head over heels for the cutest brown haired boy you'd ever laid your eyes on. You hated it. You hated it because nothing would ever come out of it. Nothing ever did come out of any crush you'd ever had. Half the time any crush you had didn't even know you existed. Boys just simply didn't notice you that way, and for as long as you could remember, you didn't care. You accepted that fact. You were okay with knowing that life wasn't like books or movies- fine with the knowledge that girls like you just simply weren't meant to be loved. Girls like you forever doomed to be sad and alone- unless of course they could make themselves more appealing- but you never saw a reason to do that. Why waste all your time on a boy who would probably never notice?

You'd always found it so crazy that you thought that- did girls your age think things like that? Did you simply mature quicker than others? Did all that cruelty really get to your head?

Who knows, really. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. All you knew, was that he was slowly but surely making you break all your promises to yourself. He was worming his way through your tightly locked walls and he wasn't even trying. You were so young- and yet you knew you were going to have your heart completely shattered. How unfair- how tragic.

The possibility of him returning your feelings was nothing but a sliver of hope tucked deep into your heart.

Why would he ever like a girl like you?

It was the start of Sophomore year when you realized that he'd completely won you over. He'd made his way deep inside your heart- and then left a hole when he started crushing on some other gorgeous girl. It was the beginning of the end. You'd told yourself you were okay with just being friends, that you didn't mind being nothing more so as long as he stuck around. You lied so well, so easily- and now it was going to came crashing down upon your shoulders. It shouldn't have hurt- but it did. It hurt because she was gorgeous. She was every single thing you were not- and you couldn't even hate her for it.

Liz was wonderful and kind. She didn't have to fend off bullies or threaten others when they bothered her, because no one did. She was sweet- and she was small. She was petite and beautiful. She didn't have thunder thighs or a jiggling tummy- she didn't have to hide away in baggy hoodies. She probably didn't cry in changing rooms either. She was perfect for him. You couldn't possibly compete.

You wouldn't dare try.