Possibility

Believe

"I like you."

Peter made a face at himself in his bathroom mirror. 'Really? That's what you're gonna say?', he thought to himself. He couldn't say that! If he did, you'd reply with either a smile and 'I like you too, Peter.', or a 'So now you like me? Thought you liked that Internship?', and neither were the responses he wanted or needed. He had to get you to see that he liked you in a more than friends way. He wanted you to be his girlfriend. He wanted to be able to hold your hand or even kiss you- but he wouldn't be able to get even a sliver of a chance if he didn't tell you how he felt. He knew how you felt- so why was this so damn difficult? Why couldn't he walk up to you and say, 'Hey. I have feelings for you.'?

God- he still feared rejection. He'd heard how you felt, right from your own lips. He'd seen how he hurt you, but he was still scared you'd turn him down. He also wasn't sure if he could handle you laughing in his face again. He didn't want to pour his heart out and have you dismiss it as some sort of joke or something. Peter hated this- absolutely hated it. He hated that if he had just tried to do something earlier- that if he hadn't been so scared, he wouldn't be fighting with himself right now. Yet, if he had tried harder, he wouldn't have known who the Vulture was or what he was doing. Again, this was a lose-lose situation, and he was struggling to see which one was the bigger loss. Sure, being Spider-Man and all that should come first- but who could blame him for having his own wants? He'd already paid the biggest price for not being Spider-Man- did he have to pay another one for being Spider-Man too? Did he have to sacrifice any and every possible relationship he could have with you? Friends or otherwise?

This wasn't fair- none of it. The choices he had to make were unfair. The way you'd been treated was unfair. People warped your thoughts and beat you while you were down and he couldn't stand it. All because of some shitty people and their cruelty you couldn't even love yourself. You couldn't see how beautiful and wonderful you were and it made him so angry. Not at you, but at the people who managed to do that to you. Sure- some of the demons may have been your own, but you weren't the one that made the first of them. You didn't plant the seeds or make the first start. There was a time when you believed you were like everyone else. A time when you didn't feel gross or unloved or unwanted. He knew because he felt the same. He didn't face the same issues you did and not to your extent, but he knew what it was like to feel like less of a person because of your appearance. To have people poke and prod at him for every little thing he was and wasn't. He was made fun of for being lanky and scrawny. For being weak and geeky. He'd had girls laugh at the thought of him even having a tiny crush on them. He's had guys shove him into lockers and push him in the hallways.

He'd been bullied too.

However, he knew words sometimes did more damage than physical harm. Bruises could fade away. Broken bones, cuts and scrapes could and would heal. Sometimes scars would remain, but if they were small enough, they could fade away enough to go unnoticed. Emotional hurt could be masked, but it was incredibly hard to heal. Having someone constantly remind you of your flaws and of why you should hate yourself, wasn't an easy thing to forget. Having people bring up every little flaw and even create new ones isn't something a person can just get over. They do try though- everyone does. You try to forget the insults, try to forget the words they'd said, but it isn't easy. It's even worse when you can see the things they don't and you know they'd make an even bigger scene about those things.

He knew this- and so he knew he had to get you to believe him. You had to see that no matter what you saw in yourself, no matter how you felt about yourself, he still adored you to no end. He still wanted to be with you and only you. No one else could compare. No one else was quite like you and he would be damned if he never got you to see that.

So- even though the rain put a little damper on his mood. Even though his hair was a mess from it and someone (Flash) splashed water all over the lower half of his pants just to annoy him, he still walked up to you that morning. He still offered you the sweetest smile he could muster with his rapidly beating heart.

He still said, "I know now is probably not the best time for this- and I know you're still mad at me. I don't blame you. I was shitty for no good reason and I shouldn't have been but.. I can't not tell you this. I've held it in for too long..", he took in a deep breath, "I have feelings for you."

His voice wavered and his face looked petrified- but it was nothing compared to what you felt.

"What?"

"I said I-"

"No. I heard you- but I don't- why would you even- Peter this isn't funny.", you stared right at him. Was this some kind of joke? It had to be- had to-

"No. I'm being serious. I like you. I like like you. I have for a long time, but I was scared you wouldn't feel the same. I'm still scared now but-"

"Bullshit."

Peter looked taken aback, "Bullshit? What do you mean-"

"What? Did your little Spider friend put you up to this? God- you don't like me! I know you don't! You took Liz to Homecoming! You've been staring her way for months and suddenly- suddenly she's gone and so suddenly you likeme? You really expect me to-"

"It isn't suddenly! I've always liked you, but I was so sure you didn't like me that I didn't bother trying! I thought that if.. if I liked another girl then.. I could get these feelings to go away. I didn't want to lose you as a friend- but I guess I already did that..", he looks down at his shoes- as if they'd help him disappear like he wanted to so desperately. This was not how he expected this to go..

"I don't believe you.", you said, and he didn't blame you. You had valid points- valid reasons to not believe what he said, but it still hurt anyways. He should have expected this, but his heart still held on to hope that this wouldn't happen. That you'd believe him and understand.

"I know, but I wish you would. I'm not joking. I'm being serious. I tried liking Liz. I tried to get lost in her the way I got lost in you- and I thought it would work. I thought it'd make things better and it didn't. Please just- don't dismiss me so quickly. Don't just deny my feelings like this. Think about it- please. Believe me..", he was pleading to you. He needed you to see.

However, his luck was never too good. The bell rung and you took that as an opportunity to dash off. He would try to talk to you after school- you knew it and he knew it. There was no avoiding this. He hated how quickly he always let himself give up. He wouldn't stop until you saw what he need you to see. He wouldn't force you to return his feelings or anything. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if you didn't after all this. He deserved it. He just wanted you to believe him.

He wouldn't stop until you believed him.