I snatched the camcorded from his hand. I knew from the look of his face and the way he avoided my gaze that he'd seen something in the camcorded he shouldn't have seen.
"P-pinakialam mo ba ito?" I could feel the heat from my cheeks travelling to my ears.
"Ma'am, hindi ko po sinasadyang makita. Ngayon lang ho kasi ako nakakita ng ganyan..." He flushed even more and then he straightened up as if he'd said something worng. "Ibig kong sabihin, ma'am, ngayon lang ako nakakita ng ganyang bagay. Aksidente ko pong nabuksan. Isasauli ko nga ho dapat kay Ma'am Cassie pero sa inyo po yata talaga yan..."
"Pinanood mo ang videos?" I tried hard not to falter, even though I wanted to melt into a puddle in embarrassment.
He swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. "O-opo, ma'am. Pero konti lang naman, ma'am. Yung dun lang sa parteng nasa kama kayo tapos-"
"Stop." My ears were hot from shame. There was nothing more I wanted than for a lightening to struck me dead at this moment. "N-napakabastos mo! Hindi ko alam kung iniinis mo lang ako o bastos ka lang talaga."
"Ma'am, sinagot ko lang po yung tanong niya, wala po akong intensyon na bastusin kayo. Sa katunayan ang laki nga po ng respeto ko sa pamilya niyo, lalong-lalo na sa'yo, Ma'am. Alam ko po makulit ako kung minsan, may mga panahon na pumapalpak ako sa trabaho ko, may mga nasasabi akong hindi ko naman sinasadya pero, Ma'am, tao din naman po ako kaya huwag niyo akong tratuhin na ganito. Hindi man ako edukadong tao, marangal ako. Hindi ho ako bastos na tao. Iyon lang ang maipagmamalaki ko." There was a hint of pain in his tone.
My back straightened and I held my chin up. Somehow, his words shot right through me. I may have stepped a bit out of line with the way I treat and speak to Soren. He may have peeve me to no end but I shouldn't talk down to him like this. It wasn't his fault he was ignorant to social norms, I mean he had lived in the mountains all his life. What may be offensive to me, may not be to them.
"Ma'am, pasensya na ho ulit. Hindi ko ho talaga sinasadyang makita yun. Ibabalik ko na din po ang kahon na ibinigay sa akin ni Ma'am Cassie. Saka ito pong..." He pulled the shirt over his head, displaying his muscular chest. He was pure muscules and mass rolled into one, it was the kind of muscles that you knew were formed by nothing but pure, hard labor.
He handed the white shirt to me and my attention was averted back to his face. I tried so hard not to look down. Kunwaring inis na kinuha ko ito mula sa kamay niya.
"Huwag na huwag lang malalaman ng iba ang nakita mo, Soren. I swear to God, if this goes out ikaw lang ang sisihin ko." My eyes squinted spitefully at him.
"Wala po kayong dapat ipag-alala. Makakaasa po kayo na walang makakaalam. Kamukha pala talaga ni boss Arthur si sir." He said, mindlessly.
"Just shut up! Please!" Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata. Embarassment assaulted me again.
He was startled. "Sorry ho ulit. Idadaan ko na lang po dito yung kahon bago ako umalis."
"I want it here first thing in the morning, you understand?"
"Morning po, ma'am. No prablem." Tumango-tango ito.
Tumalikod na ako before my eyes could wander elsewhere. I exhaustedly slumped down the living room couch and sighed deeply. I took a deep breath and caught a whiff of a manly scent coming from the white shirt I was clutching in my hands with the camcorder. Damn it! I felt like a thirsty woman who had seen water. I didn't realize how dry I was until now. I mean, could you really blame me? I hadn't been with a man for ages.
I chewed on my bottom lip. Nakita ni Soren ang sex video ko. Gusto kong matunaw sa hiya ngayon. He'd seen my body. He'd seen what I'd done in bed with my late husband. He'd seen everything. I knew whatever it was in the camcorder, they weren't tame missionary position love makings. They were always wild and sloppy and dirty.
