Forgiven, But Not Forgotten [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Chapter_41

Elliot held me in his arms and didn't move. He just held me and neither of us said a thing. Being away from someone for so long was hard, especially when that person has the other half of your heart.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked, as I finally stepped away from him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm going to go check on the girls." I breathed, and he nodded.

I walked over and slowly opened the girls' door and looked over my shoulder to see Elliot standing right behind me.

"I want to see the twins." He whispered. I smiled a bit as I walked into the room. I went right to the two cribs and looked in on the twins. Katrina was sleeping with her bottom in the air and her thumb in her mouth and Celia had rolled over onto her back and was laying with her legs in weird positions.

I reached down and gently caressed Katrina's messy hair, before moving over to kiss Celia's forehead.

"They are so beautiful. I guess I didn't really remember what they looked like. They have changed a lot." Elliot whispered, and I nodded slowly.

"They are a year old, El. They grew a lot since we left." I whispered back. I walked over and covered Ellie up a bit more, before turning around and seeing Elliot walk out of the bedroom. I quickly followed him and shut the door quietly before walking to Elliot.

"El? Are you okay?" I breathed, and when he turned around I saw that he was crying. It was silent but intense.

"Oh." I breathed and he frowned.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But you were right. Everything has changed. Our girls are walking, like all three of them. I missed so much and I hate this." He breathed.

"Elliot, we are trying to figure this out, okay? We will figure this out. We need each other. I love you and you love me too."

"I've never stopped loving you, Livvie."

"I've never stopped loving you either. And Katrina and Celia will get to know you, and Ellie clearly has missed you and hasn't stopped loving you."

"God, I'll never be able to make this up to you all. My girls... god, I need some air. I'm going to get some air." He spoke, as he started to panic. He ran to the door and quickly swung it open, but I got to him and placed my hand gently against his shoulder. He stopped as his breathing hitched.

"No. Turn around," I whispered. Elliot turned around and looked at me. I reached up and wiped his tears away with the pads of my thumbs before stepping forward and pressing my lips gently to the corner of his mouth. I moved my lips to his lips before snaking my arms around his neck. I pulled him close, as our kiss got deeper and more intense.

"I'll stay." He mumbled into my lips, as I slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

"Good. We can't lose you again." I mumbled back, as he took over taking his shirt off as I removed my own.

He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his body as he carried me to my bedroom. 

This all was very hot and heavy and happening too quickly, but I needed him and he needed me too.

<^>

I was thankful that Ellie and the twins were sleeping late because it gave Elliot and myself more time together. We laid together in my bed, and I rested my head against his bare chest as he rubbed circles into my back.

"How long has it been since we got to do this?" Elliot asked, as I shifted a bit and closed my eyes.

"Over a year. It was nice. I really enjoyed it. Did you?" I asked, and he nodded and I knew he was smiling largely.

"I very much enjoyed making love to you. When do the girls usually get up?" Elliot mused.

"They are usually up by now, but I guess it's been a stressful day for them. Ellie was so excited to see you so that means she must be exhausted." I smiled softly.

"Well, why don't we go and see if they are up." He spoke, but neither of us moved. I was exhausted and didn't want to move from where I laid in my husband's arms. It's been so long since we've been this close. Before I had the twins, I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep this close to him and now being able to be in his arms and feeling his heartbeat against my cheek, and his warmth. My husband produces a lot of body heat which comes in handy on cold Manhattan nights.

"I think we should take it slow... date almost..." 

"You want to date?" Elliot asked, and I nodded slowly as I sat up and looked up at Elliot.

"I want to date and take it slow because I don't want to get hurt again. You gotta understand that, right?"

"Yeah, I understand that Liv. It's okay, baby girl. I can do that." He spoke before he leaned down to kiss my lips softly.

I kissed him back before resting my head back against his chest. We laid three until Celia cried out for me.

"I need to get her. You get dressed." I spoke, and Elliot nodded. I climbed out of my bed and I knew Elliot was watching me as I walked around to find the clothes I had discarded. Once I was dressed I left to go and get the girls up.

<^>

Elliot spent a decent amount of time in my bedroom, and by the time he came out, I was making grilled chicken and mixed veggies for us. Ellie stood up from her toys and went running to Elliot, while the twins just looked at him. I sat my spatula down before going over and kneeling down by my babies.

"Cece, Kat, this is your Daddy. You are going to be seeing him around more often. He loves you two so much." I breathed, and the girls just continued to stare at Elliot. I kissed the back of their heads before going back into the kitchen

"Hey there, babies. God, you two are adorable." Elliot smiled, as he knelt down in front of the girls. He kissed their foreheads and the girls started to pass him toys as they still looked at him with a bit suspicious.

God, I'm glad that he showed up today.

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