2Different Sides

Chapter 2

I remember every single detail.

I remember how happy I was.

I remember how my dad let me pose for pictures.

I remember my mom braiding my hair.

That day, that first day of kidergarten. The first day away from watching cartoon that only showed how kind kids are to each other and how amazing this world is, when in reality, it SUCKS.

So, I woke up that day extremely excited about my first day of kidergarten.

I was excited about meeting new kids.
Little did I know it was going to be the start to so much pain, at a very young age.

5 years old.

I went out of the house wearing glasses and a back pack twice my size.
My brown hair braided and a big smile on my face.

"Smile." My dad said taking a picture of me. And I let out the model side of me.

We took many pictures. I was for once, happy.
---
When I got there, there were so many kids.
Some were running after each other, and some swinging.
I wanted to play so I went to but I never asked the other kids to play with me cuz I didn't know how. I was just five.

Days passed by and I went to school everyday.
I didn't know where my class was and used to get lost alot.

One day we were playing with clay and all the kids actually had clay in their hands, playing with it.

Except me.

I walked to a group of girls and boys sitting together, playing and laughing.

"Can someone give me clay, please?" That was all I said. I just asked for clay cuz I wanted to play like the others. I had no idea that the answer to this request of the five year old me would be the start of something bigger than I could ever imagine.

They all shook their heads at me and I didn't get the chance to open my mouth before a girl spoke- saying the reason.

"You look weird, guys look at her eye." All their eyes were on me by that time, "she looks like a zombie."

That was all it took to make them laugh their asses out and for me to walk away.

So yea, I walked away not understandingwhy they said that to me.
I didn't know what I felt then but I knew it wasn't a feeling that I wanted to experience twice.

You know when kids mix alot of clay of different colors together? The clay turns into a weird dirty color.

That's what I found. That's what I played with.

So, this is how kidergarten went for me.
I was pushed away, called a zombie, weirdo.

'Why?' Was the only thing on my mind. I was five years old and knew nothing about my defect.

Before kindergarten my life mainly consisted of those dumbass cartoons that showed how beautiful this world is, but no one told me how cruel it actually is.

One day, I was playing and running around in the playground when I heard someone calling me.

Well, he was saying 'weirdo' but I know it was me so I looked at him and he and his friends started laughing.

I ran away but this run, was the start to another thing. Another scar.

Physical bullying.

He started running after me and I had really small legs so that didn't help when I fell to the ground and he was over me, hitting me.

They always tell us to tell teachers so I did.

"Don't do that again." Was what she said every single time.

So I stopped telling anyone about my bully.
It only made me seem weak infront of other kids.

Weeks later I sat alone in class, ate alone, played alone.

I was just alone.

We had that stupid picture that they take of the whole class. I didnt want to take pictures with anyone but my parents thought school was paradise.

They didn't know anything and I didn't know that I should've told them.

So we took the pictures and I remember the day I saw them printed out.

All girls looked beautiful when I only looked, weird.

That's when I saw why I was the joke of that place.

My eye.

♡♡♡
*So this is how my life went when I was only five.

*You don't have to read this thing if you don't want to.

*I only write this book cuz it keeps me fighting.

*I love you ~Hazel