Allergic to Roses

Realization 101: A Book By Harley Masken

The past couple of days I had been a lazy shit. That's sadly the only scientific term that I liked, as opposed to "heartbroken" because that sounded too much like a overly-clingly romance novel.

So, of course, the one day I actually leave my room, I end up in the living room hiding behind my couch as I watch my mother watch Picture This Celebrity News with the cheery Carleigh McBrady.

"...He has been apparently going out extremely often ever since his fling, Harley Masken, and her friends were seen leaving a few days ago on a flight out of London. The famous Duncan Smith, has also been seen going out often, but not for the reason's Axel has been." The pink screen then faded to black and flashed a picture of Axel grinding on a blonde girl in a club and various other pictures flashed up, all of Axel either making out with girls or smirking at them as he held their hands and led them into a random room.

"Harley?" My mother asked worriedly, turning around and facing me.

My eyes widened as I realized she had noticed me and I hastily stood up and ran out, slamming my door shut and clicking the lock so she wouldn't come in.

I felt the tears down my cheeks, and I angrily rubbed them away, sick of all the crying I had been doing, actually some-what surprised that I had any tears left in my body.

I entered the bathroom that was connected to my room, and locked that door too, not wanting anyone to see me so fragile. If there was one thing I despised, it was people seeing me cry, even though I had done the most crying in front of people in the last week than I had ever done in my entire life.

I rested my head against the wooden door and blew a breath out of my mouth, closing my eyes in an attempt to calm myself down a little.

Eventually, it started working, and I felt the tears slowly come to a gradual stop, and I pursed my lips when I heard my mother calling me.

I didn't bother responding to her pleas for me to open the door, she should've known that I wouldn't want to see anyone.

But why was I crying? I mean, I broke up with him, I should be glad he's moving on, not wallowing in self-pity like a pathetic school girl after watching 500 Days Of Summer for the first time.

Soon, I heard Ainsley's voice echoing through my house, far away as if she were outside instead of at the door.

I glanced out of the second story bathroom window, to see my asinine friend with a huge rope and a giddy smile.

I slid open the window, "Ainsley, what the hell?"

"Harley! Catch!" She threw the rope up to me, and I barely grabbed it before it started it's descent, and I brought it inside the bathroom and tied it tightly to the doorknob.

"You're insane!" I called down to her as she held onto the rope and used her feet to climb up the side of my house and into the bathroom window. "Seriously, what kind of idiot climbs into a house?"

She shrugged innocently, "it was Jordan's idea. She's at her grandma's right now, but she'll be here later."

I nodded and sat back down on the tile, suddenly remembering why I had holed myself up in the small bathroom for an hour or so with no food.

"Did you bring anything to eat?"

She laughed, "you have a stocked fridge downstairs."

I shrugged and my eyes trailed down to the floor.

"Harley," Ainsley started tentatively, sitting down across from me, her red hair falling over her shoulder in soft waves. "Do you want to know what I think?"

I looked at her sincere expression and she shot me an expectant look.

"Fine," I breathed, running a hand through my hair a couple of times.

"First I have to ask you something." She looked at me and I nodded, signaling for her to go on, "okay. What did you feel this morning when you saw the pictures."

I considered it. What did I feel? I wasn't sad, or angry. Hell, I wasn't even jealous. "Heartbroken," I decided on. "It felt like I was leaving all over again."

She nodded before sending me a small smile, "Arlee, I think you're in love."

I frowned at her words. There was no way I loved Axel, I had only known him for the better part of a month, and we'd only been on two dates! "Ainsley," I said disbelievingly, "I can't love someone I've only known for a few weeks."

"I think you can."

My shoulders slumped and I leaned further into the door, my body sinking to the floor until my back was uncomfortably hunched over. "I love him?" I said, but it came out as more of a question than a statement.

She nodded, "Harley, only you can tell if you do or not, but I just don't want you to let something go. These past weeks you've been the happiest you've ever been. Just because Wesley admitted feelings for you doesn't mean that you can't still find happiness elsewhere. Wes will find someone else."

I swallowed and closed my eyes again. "I didn't even think of how Wesley was feeling," I admitted ashamedly. "I mean, after I saw the interview all I thought was how upset I felt about it. I guess I- I think I love him."

"Call him." She told me, smiling, her phone in her outstretched hand.

I didn't take it at first, just stared at it, wondering if I should. Oh, hey, Axel, it's Harley, the girl that left you without saying goodbye, even though I don't think we should be together right now, I love you. Yeah, that call would turn out so well.

I held the phone in my hands a minute, deciding whether or not this would benefit me at all, besides the inevitable fact that more heartbreak was unavoidable.

What the hell, was the last thing I thought before I quickly searched his name and clicked call, the slow ringing only adding to my nervousness.

He answered on the second ring, "hello?"