Father || Teen Wolf

03 - Family Colors

Long awaited confrontations are often disappointing. Carefully crafted speeches are suddenly forgotten, words stumble out of angry mouths in a flurry of unrecognizable sounds, and nothing ever goes according to plan. Unexpected battles are another story. Unpredictable, sudden, like a furnace igniting in a place that has never known sparks. Quiet souls suddenly lash out and truths are spoken, that would never have been said otherwise, taking everyone by surprise. In a sense, Peter's visit displayed all these traits.

When Peter stood in front of him, casting an immense shadow into the room, Jamie froze. There were things he wanted to say, so many of them, and at the same time he didn't want to exchange a single word with the man before him. Simply breathing the same air as him sent shivers of disgust down his spine, and fear and anger and pity all flared up in his chest, mixing together in an emotion so complex that Jamie no longer knew what he felt.

The memories of all the times he and Peter had been together in the same room came to his mind, and they all had one thing in common - the alpha's intentions had always been murderous, and Jamie suddenly grew very aware of that fact. Something flickered in Peter's eyes and Jamie realized he was holding his shoulder, just where deep scars should have been had he not been turned and healed.

"I'm only here to talk," said Peter, and Jamie didn't believe him.

Peter stood tall, but not as tall as he used to; his clothes were crumpled and his skin was pale, and Jamie's eyes trailed along the faint red lines that ran across his throat. 

"How are you still alive?" Jamie asked before he could stop himself.

The soft-spoken words were met with a dry smile, showing something akin to regret - for his lost power or for his crimes, Jamie couldn't tell. 

"Derek," Peter simply replied, and the words were heavy with feelings Jamie couldn't decipher. 

The man before him was a mystery he feared to solve, and it was all Jamie could do not to refer to him as a monster. But this monster was also his father, and he preferred not to believe monster blood ran through his own veins.

"Derek took my power, but not my life," Peter explained, talking to himself as much as he was talking to Jamie, like he was still himself trying to come to terms with the situation. "I believe he did it because of you."

The honesty in his father's voice was not something Jamie expected to hear. There had always been a veil over Peter's words, whether of threat or of manipulation, but never an ounce of sincerity, of humanity. But again, Peter was an expert liar and Jamie had no doubt his sincerity could be faked.

"How would you know?" Jamie questioned, but he wasn't interested in the answer - he only wanted to hear the beat of his father's heart, his ears straining to pick up on a flutter, anything that would betray ill intentions.

"Have you ever had someone dig their hand into your throat?" Peter asked in return, and the honesty was gone, replaced by the ever bored, sarcastic tone that usually laced his words. "It's a real bonding experience. I mean, it's hard to be closer than that. Makes it very easy to sense a sudden change of heart, especially if you know what you're listening for."

The heartbeat was steady, as steady as the words. And then their meaning caught up with Jamie, and he felt like he had just been mocked. His eyes searched his father's face, and mockery was there, along with that smirk that rarely seemed to leave his lips.

"If you want to know if I'm lying, you're going to try harder," Peter chuckled.

Jamie swallowed, uneasy. There was something in Peter's attitude that kept him on edge, but again, it was only the first time they were together in a room and no one was on the verge of getting brutally attacked - or so Jamie dearly hoped. He decided to ignore the jab, careful not to anger the much stronger wolf, and let Peter talk. 

"I can prove it to you, if you want," Peter stated, the boredom of his tone not matching the careful hope in his eyes. Eyes that he closed, and when he opened them again, they were glowing - not that terrifying shade of red but electric blue, just like Jamie's.

Relief flooded him, like a wave gently lifting a heavy burden off his chest, and suddenly he could breathe better knowing that Peter Hale wasn't his Alpha. The flash of hurt that passed like a shadow over his father's features, briefly showing the man underneath the mask, deeply puzzled Jamie. Another human expression that didn't belong on a monster's face.

He wondered if all Stiles had explained was true. The insanity that had danced in Peter's eyes, the  claws that had thirsted for blood, the sharp teeth that sought the taste of revenge... was it all truly gone? Had his mind been restored when he had been freed from his powers? Would Derek follow the same path now that he had acquired that same power?

Many questions followed, buzzing in Jamie's mind like bumblebees, erratic and loud, and he wanted them to go away. Certitudes were a luxury he no longer knew, and he felt like he was alone in the dark, with no light to guide him to where it was safe and comfortable, and easy. He had heard of the expression, to take a leap of faith, but no one had ever told him that the leap would have him fly over an abyss so dark and deep, he couldn't see the bottom of it. 

And yet, Jamie had to make a decision, right there and right then. He would get no hints, just the unreadable face of a man that was his father by blood but not by heart, who had done things in the past that he may or may not regret, and that was all Jamie knew. So, he stalled and asked the question that had been loudest in his mind.

"Why did you turn me?"

At this, Peter let out a chuckle. He wasn't amused, far from it, but the suddenness of the question had taken him by surprise - at this point, Jamie had been silent for so long that he had been expecting to be monologuing until he was out of things to say. 

"I didn't turn you," Peter replied, any trace of laughter long gone. "I restored what was yours by birth."

Jamie nodded in answer, thoughtfully. He wasn't exactly convinced that Peter turning him had truly been an act of kindness, but he knew better than to contradict a mass murderer, especially when he was still so weak. Seeing Peter so calm, taking his time to speak, made him forget that the police was probably looking everywhere for him, that he was facing a man on the run. 

He didn't look to be in a hurry, nor did he seem particularly worried. He was simply standing there, looking at Jamie and talking, slowly, like he didn't have a care in the world. It was perturbing, looking at someone that he shared so many traits with, seeing things he usually saw in the mirror - like the mole under his chin, or the shape of his jaw, or the light blue eyes that stared right back at him.

"Your eyes..." Jamie started, unsure. "How come they glow blue instead of yellow? Is that a family thing?"

Peter suddenly froze, his spine straightening and his gaze latching onto Jamie's eyes, a mixture of curiosity and sadness making the smirk falter. He creased his eyebrows, and Jamie closed his eyes like Peter had done, and when he opened them again his eyes glowed the exact same blue as Peter's. Out of all the reactions Jamie had expected, a sorry smile was not one of them. 

Peter's hand moved, and for a second it looked like he was about to reach out and pat him on the shoulder, but the hand soon returned at his side. He hesitated, his mind weighting two options while Jamie watched, expression growing worried at the other wolf's silence. It was Peter's turn to feel uneasy, and when he spoke again, the uncanny honesty was back.

"A werewolf's eyes only glow blue if they've taken an innocent life."

The effect the few words had on Jamie was beyond anything Peter had expected. The young man completely stopped moving, his heart rate went up and his lower lip trembled, and his eyes stared into the distance, wide open in shock. The scent of guilt that radiated from his son's trembling frame was stronger than any emotion Peter had ever tasted, and it hit him like a brick wall, crushing him also. 

Had Peter been able to read minds, he would have seen three faces stare at him with betrayed eyes. Three women, blurry faced and frozen in expressions captured in photographs, never ageing. A mother and two sisters, their life ended years ago in a car accident after a stupid, meaningless fight. Whose lives could Jamie have taken if not theirs?

Evelyn and Kylie and Malia Tate were gone, and their blood was on Jamie's hands. His eyes proved it. And the words went through his minds, true and unbearable - 

Like father, like son.