City of Levels

5: The Culprit

Why am I so weak? So weak that I feel so powerless. So weak that death can easily take me away. So weak that I am very thankful, he saved my life. Well, I haven't done anything great in my life. I feel so heavy like I'm a big burden, my surroundings feel so heavy like it's a punch. Reality is a punch in the face. Everything is a punch in the face. I can't take in everything that had happened, my heart is going to crack open.

Well, it hurts.

So why me? Why am I even alive? I can't even forgive my mom after all the work she have done for my sake, but I love her so much that I should've died. My mom doesn't deserve someone like me. Yet, why? If fear is going to take over my life then why not take it? If he's going to kill me, why did he save me? He let me escaped death yet it followed me right here. So why?

Why am I so full of questions?

Why am I full of curiosity when all of these thoughts muddling inside me will stay inside me? All this fear, all this anger, and all this feelings just drives me crazy that it makes me cry. I feel so stupid.

I probably look like an idiot.

My heart tells me to die, but my mind is scared. I don't even f*cking understand.

Upon these thoughts, tears rained down my eyes.

The assurance he almost gained from me all died instantly.

Still...

"Why?" I sniffed.

He did not answer yet he turned to my direction and faced me.

Tsss. Why am I still asking when I know my life was already at stake.

But, I am curious. This guy saved my life and somehow I want to know something about his life, but I guess there are limitations.

"Mahalia. Do you wanna come with me? Let's talk if you're that curious," he told me and smiled. My crying died when I met his eyes.

They were sparkling.

Instead, I got angry, "Huh! And why should I trust you?"

"Coz' I will protect you," a quick answer taunted me, still, I was angry.

I sighed, these words will be the truth I feel for him. And it is fear.

So I glare towards his eyes and tell him, "Protect me? You just threatened my life! Y-You just killed them! You killed people! You saved me so I could suffer, right?! Just kill me!" I kneeled, begging for him to end me. But--

"I DID NOT KILL THEM! IDIOT! Stop being dramatic! I can hear your stupid thoughts! I can't control it because I'm a level four! Contented?" He shouted back where his voice still sounded manly deep.

But I stood up and from those words he said, I still no longer trust him.

So I smile back sarcastically and say, "Yeah, sure."

Obviously, the truth was not.

Suddenly, the air rumbled his white shaggy hair on his face that disturbed the moment we were encountering. We squinted at the same time. He turned his head back upfront and continued walking.

Still, I followed him.

Well, the smell in the alley was daunting.

When we finally went out, we both stopped, the usual scene of the village-the same urban houses I've usually encountered every morning-approached us.

"You know... this city is beautiful. And I like this district that I hope I could live here someday like a normal person..." he suddenly talked with a soft voice, having a heartfelt moment on his own.