Pensive Thoughts

Two-faced

This poem is about an abusive relationship, and dedicated to someone I know who went through this. Trigger warning ahead

You seemed so amazing

Truly you did

You seemed like the man I always wanted to be with

But then your true colors showed

You're cold, rude, and disrespectful

You never cared about me

You always put me down

But I never saw it

I only wanted to see the best in you

I accepted your excuses

I forgave you multiple times

Even when you didn't deserve it

Because I thought I loved you

But no you choose to make me feel like the bad guy

I guess our relationship meant nothing to you

For a while it seemed you were the one

Don't you remember those first couple months?

When we were inseparable

When you were kind to me

When you treated me like a princess

Those months were the honeymoon phase

I felt enthralled by you

And I thought you cared about me too

But then that had to end

At first it was subtle

But then the signs slowly became more obvious

You shot down my voice

You became harsh towards me

You didn't seem to care about me anymore

You treated me like I had no rights

Everything became toxic

But I didn't care

I wanted you to stay

And you did

You acted as if you were doing me a favor

I only saw the roses you gave me, but not the thorns that lied within

Every time you were cruel to me

I took every blow silently

Even though I couldn't fathom why you would hurt me

Even when you belittled me in front of everyone

I  still stuck by, despite everything

When everyone asked me why I stayed

I would defend you

I just didn't want to believe it

You were my heart

But as the abuse piled on

I couldn't take it anymore

I became numb to every single thing

I wanted to die because of you

You ripped my heart out of me and shattered it

Why? Why did you hate me so

I guess I'll never know

Because I finally learned to respect myself

And leave your sorry ass behind

Your dead to me now

Only a ghost of my past

A toxic reminder that I should be careful with my heart

Goodbye

I don't need you anymore

I'm done with your games

And I'm done with the abuse

Goodbye asshole

I don't need you to "love" me

I'm done with your games

I know who will give me the love I deserve

And its not you.