flourishing • wolfstar

sure.

"Mam, are you a hundred percent sure that you want my friends to come over for Christmas? If you want a quiet house, I'm sure they won't mind," Remus presses. Noise in the house didn't always bode well with Hope, because it would sometimes give her a headache and she'd need a bucket in case she needed to hurl. She said she wasn't sure why it happened, but it was most likely the volume hitting her brain forcefully and ringing in her ears.
"Of course, Remus. I want them to come, if they're available, obviously. They're such a nice group of boys and I don't see them nearly enough. Besides, I miss their jokes. They seem to give the house a little light and laughter. So please could you ask them?" Hope has a voice woven from cotton and adorned with a Welsh lilt, but seeing as she has lived with a Londoner for twenty years, she has picked up city phrases. Remus loves his mother's voice, but ever since a few years ago, it had become weaker and wobbly, but still just as calming. He can imagine sitting near an oasis, listening to the birds harmonising by just hearing her sing.
"I- okay. I'll ask them when they come back from... from doing whatever they're doing."
Remus doesn't want to say detention.

"Would you like to come to mine for Christmas? My mum's really fond of you lot, and wants to see you again. She says your jokes are funny, but I'm not quite sure what she's listening to," Remus tries to fight a grin from falling on to his face, especially when the Marauders groan and roll their eyes.
"My jokes are the funniest. Mama Lupin loves them," James runs his fingers through his unruly locks, and takes of his shoes.
"Ha, yeah right. Does she actually want us to come? I want to go. I like the photo albums she shows me of you as a baby and wearing all sorts of ridiculous wooly hats," Peter smiles and laughs at the recollected memory of a picture Remus is a fuzzy red hat, sporting Gryffindor since he was born.
"I don't think Mum and Dad have anything planned for the hols so I want to come too."
"And I'll just assume Sirius will follow you wherever, so, er, woo hoo?" Remus says more like a question, and the boy stare at him quizzically.

Sirius is the first to stop and comes stepping forward, patting the tall boy's arm and bouncing on to Remus' bed.
"Rem, holy shit, what body wash do you use? You're bed smells like... like lavender and honey," Sirius groans in pleasure, burying his head deep in to the folds of a pillow.
"Sirius, manners! You're supposed to say 'no homo' after," James scolds, plopping down beside Sirius, tailed by Peter.
"Are all of you just going to sleep on my bed?" Remus asks, watching the group of boys huddle closer together on his sleep space. He doesn't get an answer and instead joins them, shoving James' leg and Peter's arm to get comfortable at the foot of the bed. Sirius was also settled near him, curled up in a position similar to a dog's. The hidden canine of him is shining.
"... Remus, what body wash do you use?" James finally gives in, sheets pressed against his nose as he breathes in the heaven-sent fragrance.
"James, manners! You're supposed to say 'no homo' after," Sirius mocks, sitting up and leaning forward so he can thread his fingers through James' hair and yank on it hard. Their friendship is one that is admirable, really.

"I reckon that Father Christmas is a stalker. Don't tell me that him knowing if you're awake, or if you're sleeping, or if you've bad or good is normal. He's like, a hundred million years old too," Sirius scoffs, seemingly plotting a plan to put Saint Nicholas down. Peter instantly starts arguing back because he absolutely adores the great red lump of an old man, partially because he sort of is the Santa Claus of Gryffindor because he puts the presents out for everyone if he's there. Perhaps it's the emotional connection. Sitting up, James opens his mouth and Remus expects him to start scolding, so he brings his hands up to his ears but stops when James actually starts siding with Peter and saying that Father Christmas is an absolute saint.
"Well of course he's a saint, you buffoon! He's Saint Nicholas! Honestly, what an idiot you are, Prongs."
"Exactly! He's a S-"
"Are you lot really arguing about Father Christmas?" Remus chuckles incredulously.
"I'm sorry, Moony, but I care for the innocent!" Sirius cries, indignant to believe that Remus could ever imply that he was doing something stupid.
"Aye, you do," Remus snorts sarcastically.

Zipping up his pencil case, Remus slumps back in his chair, breathing out through his nose. James, Peter and Sirius are still sitting on his bed, and he can hear them talking about a next video idea. Something about dancing, Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes who are both dancing supremes. Closing his eyes, Remus lets his head fall back and his shoulders relax.
"Ask them if they're willing to do it first before you run away with nonsensical fantasising. They might not even want to do it," Remus points out, eliciting a synchronised groan from the boys.
"Remus, can you pwetty pwease message Marlene for us. I'll give you head, promise," Sirius holds his hands together and pours.
"If he wanted anyone to give him head, it'd be me," James laughs callously in his best friend's face.
"I don't think I want anyone to give me head," Remus replies meekly.

He had never really enjoyed intercourse with anyone, partially because he felt nothing but mild happiness with the person who was involved with him. He never felt particularly horny or anything, and that got him thinking. As hard as it may be to believe, Remus doesn't think too often because he doesn't want to waste time doing that instead of getting on with things, so this was a rare occasion. He began wondering if perhaps it isn't women he likes, but men. As he thought this for the first time, he quickly felt his heart beat pacing and he forced himself in to thinking he definitely liked girls because he thought they were pretty. It pains Remus to think about what he did now because even though he is still struggling with his questioning sexuality, he doesn't want to limit himself to just one option. That's irrational. Besides, it's not like it's compulsory to come out if he is, so he could just stay single and it will all be fine. Between you and me, that's where he's wrong. If only he knows what a rollercoaster of emotions there is waiting for him.

sorry this chapter was kind of late. my head space was really fucking strange and i was really dead. ugh, i want chocolateeeeee.
see you next millennium