Unexpected Discoveries (Jemily)

Chapter 8

JJ closed the door to her apartment and went into her living room, where Emily was standing. She couldn't help but smile at how comfortable Emily felt in the apartment and how well she knew the layout of it. However, the expression on Emily's face clearly indicated that she wasn't there to make nice. She was intent on finding out JJ's problem and she wasn't just gonna let it go. JJ wondered if maybe it indeed was time she told Emily what was going on with her. Surely, things couldn't get much worse between them than they had been in the last couple of weeks. All the avoiding she had been doing was driving her crazy and she knew that Emily was not going to buy her excuses for much longer. Nevertheless, how she was gonna talk to Emily on what exactly she was gonna tell her she had no idea.

"First of all, I am sorry for barging on you like this." Emily apologized and sincerely hoped that JJ would forgive her, "But I have been going out of my mind trying to figure out what's been bothering you and frankly, I'm really tired." For a moment it looked like JJ might want to say something, but Emily wouldn't let her, "And please don't insult me and tell me that everything is fine. I have let it slide a couple of times, but not anymore, JJ. I've had enough of your excuses. You've been avoiding me, it's like you don't even wanna be in the same room with me. You won't talk to me and I've seen the way you look at me. It scares me, JJ, because I have no idea what to make of it."

Emily looked at JJ intently hoping that the blonde would finally start talking, but JJ had been unable to collect her thoughts and just kept looking at Emily trying to figure out what to tell her.

"Like I said before," Emily continued, "I'm not leaving here until you tell me what's going on. So if you continue to remain silent, I do hope your guest bedroom is right where it has always been." Emily looked at JJ expecting an answer, but JJ only chuckled at brunette's last statement.

"I haven't moved it." She replied with a smile, but she knew this wasn't the kind of reply that Emily was expecting.

"JJ, please." Emily wasn't really that amused. "I'm worried about you and frankly, it hurts me a little that you won't talk to me. And you haven't talked to Garcia either."

"You've been talking to Garcia about me?" JJ questioned trying to sound mad, but it didn't really surprise her that Emily had tried to find out what was bothering her.

"Don't pretend like it matters." Emily told her. "You know damn well Garcia was the first person I would go to for answers regarding you. But this time she didn't have any and I just became really worried about you." Emily said softly and it broke JJ's heart that she was the reason Emily had been so upset. But how was she supposed to tell her about everything that she had been feeling lately. What if it would destroy whatever bits of friendship they still had left.

"Emily, I don't think I can..." JJ started, her voice trailing off, suddenly feeling that the prospect of telling Emily the truth was more and more scary.

"Yes you can!" Emily insisted and she was intent on finding out the truth. It had been killing her to see JJ behave the way she had been lately and she needed to know the truth. "I wanna know what the problem is!"

"But that's the thing," JJ was on the verge of losing it, "YOU are the problem!" She managed to say, but had no idea how to continue.

"Wow." Emily took the little outburst in and continued, "That frankly I didn't expect." She said sadly and paused for a moment. She couldn't believe JJ of all people would treat her like this. "When I told you that I was gay, I thought that you were the one person I could trust, someone who would never judge me. But with the way you have been acting lately, it does make me wonder if I was wrong about you." She took a deep breath, "I guess you aren't as cool with me being gay as I thought you would be."

JJ was speechless. She couldn't believe what Emily was saying. How could she think that she would treat her any different because she was gay? Did Emily really think that little of her? But then again, her behavior recently had been far from normal.

"You think it's because you're gay and I have some sort of trouble accepting it?" JJ inquired trying to make sure that she understood Emily's accusations right.

"Well what else could there be? I mean ever since I told you about me being gay, you've been treating me like I was some sort of a leper. And even when you do talk to me and we're in the same room, you're afraid to touch me. Why is that? Are you afraid that I'm gonna jump you or something?" She finished and looked at JJ with such sad eyes that JJ almost shivered.

"God, Em, you are so wrong! This is so not what it is!" JJ almost screamed as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't believe how much pain she had caused her friend and she was gonna make this right, even if it killed her. Emily couldn't go on thinking that she was anything but amazing.

"Then what is it, JJ? Please tell me the truth." Emily almost begged. She couldn't take this any longer and she needed to know, no matter what it was.

"The truth, Emily..." JJ began and took a deep breath, because she knew this was now or never. She knew that if she didn't do it right there and then, she might lose all her strength and never admit anything to Emily. "The reason I've been acting so strange lately is because ever since our little kiss in New Orleans, I've been having those weird feelings about you. And this has nothing to do with you being gay, but with the way I felt when I kissed you." She admitted, her heard pounding, her hands sweating and her eyes looking at Emily with such intensity that it literally made Emily weak in the knees. "And I don't even know what those feelings are, I have no idea how to describe them... All I know is that something weird happens to me every time I'm with you, something I have never felt in my entire life. And whenever I look at you, all I can think about is that kiss we had and..."

"You're thinking about our kiss?" Emily asked to make sure, because she couldn't possibly have just heard what she thought she heard. Did JJ really just admit to feeling something more than friendship for her. It seemed like it, but it was JJ and she was straight and there was no way she could possibly feel anything non friendship related for her. Or could she?

"All the time." JJ admitted. "Every time I look at you. And every time I do, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss you again and..."

Emily glared at JJ and she knew right this moment that this conversation was not going to end well. Too much had been said and the feelings that have been boiling inside Emily were becoming too strong to keep them inside. She had to do something or she was going to explode.

"You really wanna know what it would be like to kiss me again?" Emily asked, almost out of breath, because the intensity of what she was feeling was literally depriving her of oxygen.

"I..." JJ tried to say something, but Emily couldn't take it any longer. She knew she was being selfish and she knew JJ was confused and she knew she was gonna hate herself for what she was about to do, but it was stronger than her. So she took one step closer to JJ and crashed her lips against the blonde's.