Alone. I am quietly sitting down on my bed, trying to grasp the idea that everyone is alone in this world. Sure, we have friends that will be our company for weeks, months, or years maybe. But how sure are we that those people will actually be with us until we can not open our eyes to look at the morning sun? I stood up and went straight to my kitchen to brew some coffee. I leaned at my kitchen counter while continuing to catch up with my train of thoughts.
"I've been asked many times if I feel contented with the kind of life I have and with the people around me. I always answer them yes, I do feel contented with them, but do I feel satisfied with them?" I ask myself, looking at the tall buildings and the city lights from the view of my window. We, humans, are programmed to feel dissatisfaction and discontentment in the duration of our lifetime. We can never be satisfied nor feel contented. We will always tend to seek for more and search for more. But what is this 'more' that we are talking about? I don't know, it could be someone or something tangible like a sports car or something intangible like a profession or career.
We can never achieve total satisfaction, contentment, nor happiness.
As I sip my coffee, I walked my way to my couch and sat there to overthink once more. This has been a habit to me recently, overthinking. The picture of me and Vice that is placed at the shelf caught my attention. I placed down my coffee on the coffee table and carefully grab our picture. "Vice. My Vice. The person who makes a lot of people feel joy and happiness. But is he really happy?" I sighed then caressed his face on the picture. How can we know if we really are happy?
While I am sinking down on my deep ocean of thoughts, the sound of my doorbell brought me back up to the surface. I blinked for multiple times to make sure I am back on my conscious self now and slapped my face lightly to really make sure.
"Vice? What are you doing here?" I was literally in shock after I opened the door and Vice was behind it. Why the heck is he here?
"Gusto ko lang mag sorry about sa nangyari kagabi?" what? What kagabi? I am confused.
"Ay oo nga pala, nag pass out ka after kong sabihing 'nagpunta ako rito to clear our relationship'. Shookt ka eh" He said with a slight chuckle.
"So, that was it?" I asked him then leaned on the doorframe, with arms crossed on my chest.
"ano pa sa tingin mo?" Vice said with a mischievous smile and also crossed his arms on his chest, imitating my move. I want to punch him right now because he is starting to play with me again but I can't because I am trying to keep sane here.
"Vice, I'm not in the mood to play. Just leave if you're here to annoy me" I was about to close the door when he suddenly placed his feet at the edge of the door frame and the door to prevent it from closing.
"ouch" he said.
"O.A. naman. Kala mo napakalakas" I just rolled my eyes at him because I was left with no choice but to leave the door open to let him enter my humble abode.
I sat on the couch then he followed me after a few seconds. "You know what? Tigilan mo na yang kaka-kape mo." He started while pouting at my unfinished coffee cup.
"why? coffee restores my soul" I said then started sipping my now cold coffee once more.
"Ay may kaluluwa ka pa pala?"
"I hate you. Just leave." I replied sternly and coldly at him.
"Joke lang naman, di mabiro e. De, pero on a serious note, K, iwas iwasan mo muna yang pagkakape mo. Look at yourself."
"Why the heck do I need to look at myself?" He shook his head then took out his phone. He opened the camera application then placed it in front of me like a mirror. Oh Vice, I know I look like a mess right now but can you just please stop?
"Stop. I know I look sickly"
"Alam mo naman pala e, pero you keep on doing things na hindi pwede sa health mo. Ang tigas rtalaga ng bungo."
"Enough about me. Why are you here?" I asked him, trying to divert the conversation. My head starts to throb when I look at Vice like it's going to explode.
"wala lang naman. Bisita lang ganern. Bawal ka na ba bisitahin?" He said while playing the tips of my curly hair.
"Come on. Do you really think I'll believe you?"
"O edi sige bye na. Alis na ako" He attempted to stand up but I grabbed his arm then pulled him back to the couch.
"Sorry na" I sweetly said then intertwined my fingers with his.
"naku Ana Karylle! Tigilan mo yan! Marupok ako! Naku ka talagang babae ka."
"Why? We've done wilder things than this" I whispered at him then slightly kissed his ear. Akala mo ikaw lang ang pwedeng mang asar ah.
"ANA KARYLLE!"
"Joke lang" I let go his hand then sat down comfortably on the couch.
"Kain tayo. I want pizza." Vice said while bringing out his phone the opened the web browser.
"What do you want?" He asked.
"Anything."
"Well just pick something"
"Vice, technically, anything is something" I annoyingly said to him. Siya naman ang inis sa akin ngayon
"Hay nako bahala ka nga." He stood up and went straight to the door
"Saan ka pupunta?"
"Bibili ng anything.Babalik ako." Then he shut the door without even me saying anything. Ahh Vice I hate you but I don't think I can't function well without you.
I don't if it's just me or what but whenever I am with Vice, there is something inside my heads that triggers which kind of makes me feel dizzy and start hearing voices inside my head. I just noticed it a few weeks ago. Weird but it really just happens when I'm with him. It's either I'll pass out or my head would start to throb again.
I just shrugged off my thoughts and went back to my bedroom. Vice won't be here any minute now nor later because it would cost him a lot of time to buy that anything. Well, better to just take a quick nap now.
Hello. I am back. Forgive me for being not around LOL and sorry for this short update, I just had to publish this since it's the monthsary of your fam today plus this had been stucked at my drafts for too long now. Though I'll update properly tomorrow I swear HAHAHAHA Adios~
Happy 82nd, yellow hearts <3
