Officially Us

22 - Really, really broke and lonely.

Two years later.

I'm not so sure that I'm ready for this.

It was a big deal. A really big, scary fucking deal, being the owner of my own business. I don't know the first thing about being in charge of anything. Hell, I am barely even in charge of myself half the time.

Fuck, why did I agree to this? 

A few months ago, Jack had asked me whether I would be interested in buying him out of his business. Dana was pregnant with their first child and wanting to move back up the central coast to be closer to her family when she had him. She obviously had all of us here to support her, but I think she just felt like she needed to be with her own family when she had her first child, which is completely understandable. Being that far from your loved ones is a big deal. And having a baby for the first time is an even bigger deal. Or so I imagine.

Still, I was going to miss them so damn much.

I'd spent every day working with Jack for over half a decade, and even longer before that while I was still in school. And since Dana and Jack were together, she was around a lot too, and I'd gotten to know her really well. And there isn't anyone I would consider more perfect for Jack than Dana. Well, except for the fact she grew up in another state where her family all still live. That part I could live without.

But I wasn't about to hold it against her, or him. There was a time I remember being so in love I would have done anything for the woman I adored, just like Jack is doing now for Dana.

Jack considered having all his equipment and things transported up with them when they moved, but the costs involved seemed to be astronomical, so his solution was to offer it all to me instead.

"What about one of the other guys who have been here for longer? Why not offer it to them first?" I tried to deflect him, initially overwhelmed by the offer to be my own boss at the ripe age of twenty-five. "I'm not ready to run a business, Jacko. Especially one you spent years building."

"Rubes, I always meant what I said when I used to say you were the best apprentice I ever had. It was never just because you were my only nephew. They'd do fine, but I want this to be your opportunity, not theirs. You've worked bloody hard for it. And this way it would mean the name wouldn't have to change, because our surnames are the same. Family legacy and all that shit," he chuffed.

He may be joking about it and trying to pass it off as not a big deal, but Jack's a big family man, and he's been like a second father to me over the years. That he would even entertain the idea of considering me worthy of his legacy meant a lot to me because I knew it meant a lot to him.

"But I don't have the money to buy you out completely. I probably only have enough to pay you half of what it's all worth," I argued, still not convinced this was a good idea, and now even more terrified from the pressure of living up to his legacy.

"Rubes, you're family. I know you're good for it in your own time. You can just pay me back what you can when you can. I don't need it all now. Dana and I will have her family's support up there if we need anything for the time being. And besides, you'd be doing me a favour giving me the financial boost to get things started up there, even if it is only half. That woman of mine has surprisingly expensive tastes. I think we're still paying off money for than swanky wedding of ours years ago."

I tried not to laugh, convinced I needed to remain in a constant state of unease and anxiety, completely devoid of amusement, considering what I was about to do. But the chuckle that tumbled out of me remembering how ridiculously fancy their wedding was, especially considering the cheap tastes and bogan lifestyle I had known him to be accustomed to before he met her, was unavoidable.

Jack had been blocking every single rebuttal I came up with, and framing this deal as a favour to him in getting his family set up in a new place was cheating—he knew I wouldn't refuse him if he said it would be a huge help to his family, especially at a time like this.

Now the day had arrived where we needed to sign everything in front of a lawyer making it official, and I was backing out hard.

The older guys I had worked with for the last nine years said they had no issue with me taking over, and that they had no intention of leaving when I did. The younger ones, too, said they were happy staying with the company when I took over. But what if they bailed, and I was left the only one working with all the jobs we had lined up? I wouldn't be able to meet the deadlines and would lose all my contracts and end up broke and unable to pay my own mortgage, let alone the extra money I would still owe Jack.

"Stop overthinking it, Rubes. You've got this. They're all good blokes, and they wouldn't just leave you high and dry. And regardless, you're qualified and can start taking on your own apprentices and building them up in the same way I did with you. You're not a kid anymore, Rubes. Just let yourself deserve this."

Everyone else thought so, too. Mum and Troy, Dad and Ange, Tanner and Morgan, Tim, the guys I worked with. They were all convinced it was great opportunity and I could make it work.

And I did want to make it work. I just didn't know whether I could. Working on site, organising everyone on other jobs, making sure everyone got paid on time, making sure all the bills were covered, organising new contracts, fighting with other contractors, all the bullshit paperwork that I've watched Jack do over the years.

I looked down at the legal documents with my name on it—Ruben Foster, Certified and Registered Carpenter, Diploma of Building and Construction, Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology—listed alongside the transfer of ownership of 'Foster Constructions', and for the first time throughout this whole process it didn't seem so scary. It actually seemed kind of perfect.

Jack must have noticed the subtle smile that gripped my face in that moment, so seized his opportunity and handed me the pen to sign my life away, which I did without another second of hesitation.

Jack and the boys took me out for the night to celebrate both my now being a business owner, and his successful career with Foster Constructions and impending fatherhood. Once I was a few drinks deep—thankfully none of which I paid for throughout the night considering I had just squandered away the rest of my savings—I turned back into the emotional drunk I always become when I drink, and my thoughts drifted back to Sadie and what she would say if she knew I now owned my own business. Her approval and support would have meant everything to me back when we were kids.

She always said I would need to one day own my own business because I would never be content working for someone else for the rest of my life as I would need to have the power and authority to run things in the way I wanted to and thought was most right and just. She also always contended that there was no world that existed in which I wasn't bound to be hugely successful at anything I put my mind to, even if that meant me having nothing, living out of my car—which I didn't even own at the time back then—and being broke as shit.

I never quite knew what she meant by that, but I imagined she was right, as always; and that I'd understand what she meant eventually. I just always envisioned that she would be there to gloat adorably about it when I proved her correct.

And even though she wasn't around anymore, I couldn't deny that she wasn't the sole reason all my fears subsided once I saw my own name on paper next to something bigger and better than myself, one step closer to the success she so devoutly believed me destined for, even when I didn't believe it yet myself.