Unplanned

Chapter 11: Money and Worries

  After the first few weeks of living in the Milkovich house it really hit Ian how they would struggle financially. At the moment, Svetlana wasn't working although she said that she would go back to it after her son was born. Ian was working in Kash n Grab for now but when the twins were born he would stop there for at least a few months if not more. Mandy had only recently found a job at a cafe as a waitress but Mickey struggled for a long while to find a job with his criminal record. Although eventually he managed to find himself a job as a bouncer at a nightclub- apparently the owner knew the name Milkovich despite it being north side, the tattoos were also supposedly intimidating. A couple of years ago Ian may have agreed with that last point.

  In that time, as the weeks passed, it wasn't only money that was getting him nervous. There was so many worries swirling around in his mind, he wasn't even sure if he could entirely blame it on the pregnancy hormones. Sure as time passed he was about the size of a house, substantially bigger than Svetlana with his twins and the huge wait on his front killed his back. He was always uncomfortable, always hormonal and struggling not to snap or just fall down crying.

  His worries though he knew were not the spinning of hormones, instead they were based in the worries he had had right at the beginning of the pregnancy that now seemed so much larger as the due date neared. A lot of it was based in his bipolar, whether he would turn out like Monica or if his sons would develop his disease- both cases terrified him. The other worry though was Mickey, Mickey finding it all too much and leaving again or kicking them out back to Fiona.

  A lot of the time that he did his worrying it was in the nursery. Terry's old room was unrecognisable from the grey, worn down room full of trash and weapons. They had decided to change his room because after his assault on Ian it had been his last strike and he had gotten life, the room just an ugly reminder of the man that was now gone from their lives. Now the room was painted a light, new leaf green and had three cribs placed around them, each with a mobile that Mandy had "found" but which were really nice. There was blue curtains and they had really splashed out on a soft grey carpet. There were draws with baby clothes in- not excessive for the three because they were babies, they were gonna double in size every other fucking minute. They had also saved up and brought toys and a toy box for them that Debbie had actually brought. In all, it was a room that Ian loved to spend time in.

  Despite that, it was a scary, an in your face reminder that he was about to become a father. Three cribs meant there was going to be three little mouths, two of which were going to force themselves out of his body. Not something he was particularly looking forward to.

  Exactly two weeks, three days from due date Ian was sat in the nursery on the floor with his back against the wall looking unseeingly at the opposite wall. This was one of those days where he couldn't help but worry, where all the little problems and possible futures whirling around imprisoning him in his head.

  Suddenly though he was pulled from his thoughts by a warm body pressed into his side. He hadn't heard anyone- not really a surprise- and so snapped his head up automatically to see Mickey there obviously trying not to look concerned. As soon Ian looked up Mickey brought a hand up to his hair and another one smoothing over his swollen stomach. 

  "You okay man?" Mickey asked.

  Ian thought for a moment because he wasn't, he was scared shitless, but this was Mickey. Despite it having been a couple of months since their whole new relationship with the affection and feelings, Ian still couldn't quite shake the Mickey of old who was withdrawn and allergic to feelings. But now he had to ask, or at least make his thoughts known because they were in a relationship, about to start a new- abet unconventional- little family.

  "Freaking out over everything," Ian confessed then, looking down and closing his eyes. He just focused on the hands on him, using them to ground him and keep him here with his boyfriend.

  "I know that feeling, Jesus. What kind of things are freakin' you then?" Mickey pressed, fingers weaving more firmly into the hair that Ian had grown out since he got pregnant. 

  "The boys being bipolar, me being bipolar... you- you leaving when things get too much," Ian practically whispered, shoulders hunched and eyes still closed.

  There was a long moment of silence where Mickey's hands stilled and Ian's heart beat a million miles and hour.

  "Fucking look at me you giant idiot," Mickey said then and Ian did, even if it was a bit reluctant," I ain't gonna leave you or the boys. You're my family Ian, have been for a while, you've made me happier than anyone else ever has though I'm sure you'll have competition when the boys come."

  "Well fuck," Ian snorted, hiding his face in Mickey's neck, wishing that he could turn fully into him but was stopped by the bump.

  "As for that bipolar shit... if, and that is a massive if, either of the boys get bipolar then we'll be there to support them. Your bipolar won't get in the way either, you're on your meds and you have me. We'll be fine, the four of us- five if you include Lana's spawn. We aren't gonna be like our parents," Mickey spoke into Ian's hair.

  Ian let out a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around Mickey tighter. He had him and as long as he had Mickey then he, they, would be fine.

  "I love you," he whispered.

  "Love you too Ian."