blind :: muke au

1.9 - existential crisis

"shit, what am i supposed to wear to this?" calum grumbled as he dug through his closet.

luke sat with his knees pressed into his chest mindlessly as calum talked to no one in particular.

"it's an ultrasound, not a funeral." luke huffed as he shifted on the bed.

calum mumbled a few profanities to himself before finally letting out a sigh and plopping on the bed.

"i liked you better when you hung out with michael." cal grumbled. "what ever happened to you two?"

luke's body stiffened and his mouth turned dry as he thought back to that dreadfully embarrassing day at the library. it was already a whole month later, and luke had dodged every single on of michael's calls and texts, also avoiding the library and the coffee shop michael had taken him to a few times.

he had completely isolate himself from anything michael related, making him the same old, bitter soul he had always been before he met the annoyingly cute 19 year old.

he had done a pretty good job at keeping himself away from the now michael, but he could never keep himself away from the thoughts of him. each time he thought of michael, he felt that same sickening feeling in his stomach whenever luke was around him, the moths, to be exact.

he didn't understand why or how the hell he still felt anything for him, but he decided it was hopeless to fight it. he had fought away feelings for him for a whole month, and that just made luke miss him more.

luke sighed and gave calum a small shrug. "i don't know, he just got... busy." he mumbled, playing with his fingers.

the blonde boy never did mention to cal why he came home crying that day, deciding to himself that he wanted to save himself the embarrassment and calum the anger and jealousy. he knew that if calum ever found out, he would go bat shit crazy.

he had gotten very territorial over delilah over that past month, to say the least.

calum grunted in response, not exactly paying attention to what luke was saying anymore.

the dark haired boy shot up from the bed, letting out a loud sigh. "i need to go. i still have to pick up delilah, and our appointment is in an hour."

luke nodded mindlessly as calum slide on his shoes.

"oh, and if you're wearing that ugly flannel you always wear, you should change." luke commented.

calum rolled his eyes before walking over to the door.

"shut up, dick." calum grumbled as he opened the door. "i'm bringing chinese back for us, so don't go eat another tub of icecream." he called back before closing the door to his room, leaving luke to his thoughts.

luke felt worthless nowadays.

to say that he was going through an existential crisis was probably the most major understatement of the year.

(a/n: any danisnotonfire fans out there???)

he had good reason to, of course, considering he was a blind, nearly 19 year old man with no job, no college education, and a best friend who is going to be a daddy in 8 months.

he didn't go to college, so what kind of job was he going to get? what career did he want for the future? did he even want a career? did he just want to work at some old, run down bread shop that paid minimum wage for the rest of his life?

what about calum? he was going to be a dad in 8 months! luke would have to move out, probably back with his parents. would calum ever have time for him anymore? would he just forget him all together? would luke get replaced by the baby?

all of the thinking made luke's head throb and his blood pressure rise. he didn't know what the hell he wanted to do with his life. he used to think he had it figured out.

when luke was 10, he told calum, his only friend to this day, that he wanted to be the first blind doctor, in which calum responded something along the lines of, "you would probably kill somebody trying to save them, luke".

luke cried when he first heard calum say it, but it didn't matter to him now.

you always end up killing someone you tried to save.

and that's exactly why luke never let anyone in.

-

this chapter was kind of a filler on where luke's state of mind is and he's basically going through an existential crisis

oh and it's been a month since him and michael have talked did i mention that??

can someone please make blind a trailer uGH

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