Between the Pipes

Chapter 13

On Saturday morning, Sarah cracked open her new copy of Hockey for Dummies. She'd be going with Danni to the Quakes meet and greet at four o'clock that afternoon, then they planned to grab a bite to eat and watch the All-Star game at seven. She had the day to put some serious effort into learning to love hockey.

The first page outlined how hockey teams were structured and went over definitions for some commonly used terms. So far, so good. She could get behind the lingo.

And then she hit page two. After playing eighty-two games in the regular season, the top sixteen teams moved into the playoffs. What? Eighty-two games of grinding effort just to get into the playoffs? The top team didn't even get a free pass to the finals? Jeez. Tough crowd. It was a wonder they didn't give up. Plus, the players had virtually no say in where they played. Their career was subject to the whim of a manager or an owner or coach. That hardly seemed fair. Who made up these rules? Really, there were definitely a few flaws.

Her mind started wandering in chapter five, and by chapter six she was skimming the words and yawning. It was well written and thorough, but she just couldn't get into it.

She set it down, feeling glum, and made herself a cup of tea. Procrastinating, she checked her email, scoured her social media for the latest news, and checked the latest online copy of Family Medicine Today. A headline caught her eye. Tips for helping patients with mood disorders. Huh. She scrolled through the article and read the summary. "Depressed people worry about the past. Anxious people worry about what may happen in the future. Like a frog on a lily pad, they are always vigilant for danger even if no danger is imminent. The goal to treatment is to help patients change the way they think. Recognizing and changing harmful thought patterns and learning to stay in the moment is key. A panic attack is anxiety at its height – a cycle of disastrous thoughts triggered by the fear that something awful might happen, and perpetuated by the body's very real response mechanisms. Breaking the cycle or nipping it early by stopping the offending thought stops the cascade."

Sarah sat back. It's true. That's exactly what happens. The minute she walked into a rink she thought about a puck flying into the crowd. Even if the chances were slim, she pictured it happening and relived the guilt and grief. Somehow she had to convince herself that the risk was low and keep the loudest thought in her head quiet. Could she do that? She sighed. She'd have to try.

Close to four o'clock, Danni pulled into Sarah's driveway, and they drove to the rink together. They stopped at the Quakes shop on the way to the meet and greet, and Sarah bought a jersey with Mike's name on the back. She tore off the tags and put it on, joining the hundreds of fans in navy blue and white.

The meet and greet was held in the community centre, which was attached to the rink but luckily far enough away that it didn't trigger her panic. The players stood out in their formal suits and ties. Fans milled about, happily chatting, getting autographs signed, and having pictures taken with their favourite players. All the Quakes were there, even the players who weren't dressing for the All-Star game.

Sarah went up on her tiptoes and craned her neck looking for Mike. Danni nudged her and pointed him out, just as a young woman ran up to him, hugged him, and kissed him smack on the lips.

Sarah froze. That kiss had been a little too enthusiastic. Mike is seeing someone else? Mike caught Sarah's eye over the woman's shoulder. He stepped back out of the woman's reach and waved to Sarah, beckoning her to come. The crowd surged around another player, and the woman joined the fray.

Mike's smile grew wider as Sarah approached. He held out his arm to give her a side hug when she came close and kissed her on the lips.

"The difference," he said quietly in her ear, "between this kiss and the last one is that I want this one."

Sarah smiled at him, relieved. "Do you like my shirt?" She twirled around to show him the back.

He laughed. "Love it."

Danni joined them, and they chatted for a few minutes until a group of youngsters ran over. "Can we see you juggle? You juggle before every game, right?"

"That's right." They handed Mike three tennis balls, and he threw them into the air. "If you try this at home, make sure you have lots of space. You never know where the balls will fly and, believe me, there's a big ruckus if they hit the fire alarm accidentally."

The boys laughed and had a picture taken with Mike, then raced off to the next player.

An announcement was made on the overhead speakers that the meet and greet was drawing to a close and that the winners of the door prizes were going to be chosen.

Mike turned to Sarah. "I'm going to go get ready for the game. It should be over by ten. Do you want to get together afterward?"

"Yes, love to."

"Hopefully we can celebrate." His eyes twinkled.

Sarah chuckled, a tingle running down her spine. "You won't be tired after the game?"

He kissed her on the lips. "Never too tired for you." He hugged her quickly. "See you on the flip side." With a wave, he walked out through a side door.

Sarah watched him go. The best part of the hockey game would be the final whistle.