Free Me From the Wolves

[33] Mates Don't Break Up

As soon as Ryder said what he did, I remembered when Zander was talking to Colin about Ryder "breaking up with his girlfriend" in reference of causes to his strange behavior. It hurt right now more than anything because even though we both understood we were going through something serious (even though I didn't know what, exactly), this was the worst outcome there could be and he said it plainly.

I stood up and looked down at him sitting on my bed as he sighed in the midst of registering how I took it as harsh as he said it.

"I didn't mean it like that," he defended. I nodded, but eventually I began shaking my head. "I didn't," he assured. "I don't exactly know why you're upset, but if it has anything to do with mates not working out then I can't deny—"

"I'm not asking you to deny it," I interrupted. "I'm sitting here crying over the failed imprints of our parents and you're willing to group us in with them already, so I'll just assume that's what you think."

Ryder stood up and neared me.

"You know that's not what I think," he muttered. He reached a hand up to my face once more to wipe any stray tears.

"I don't know what you think anymore," I muttered, causing him to drop his hand as I walked away from him and sat on the edge of my bed. Even though I took the time to sit, he looked down on himself as if taking the rejection hard. "Because once upon a time I thought you'd never be the kind of guy to give me the coldest looks of my life or not give one shit about someone slapping me—or even making me go on some goose chase for you with—"

"I know how I've been acting, Ashlynn," he growled. Abruptly, he sat down next to me and placed one hand on the bed behind me. "I came here to hash everything out, but then you were crying and I want to take care of that first."

Translation: I came to break up with you, but since you're already crying, let's push it back to another day so 100% of your tears are from me instead.

"It doesn't matter," I mumbled.

"Yes it does," Ryder whispered, causing me to look at him right in his annoyingly beautiful eyes, trying to radiate any sort of hostility towards him like he had done to me. "What happened?"

"Aside from my boyfriend postponing our inevitable break up?" I asked to be as petty as possible. He shot me a glare and dropped his hand. "Everything about this mating thing is so screwed up."

"In reference to...our parents?" he asked. I nodded.

"Your parents should've been fine, but it spiraled out of control. My parents should have been fine, but they were paranoid and irrational and—"

"All mates are irrational," Ryder interrupted. I frowned even though I agreed with him. "Not just on a compatibility level. The whole thing is strange. Mates are meant to be together, no matter if it's as lovers or friends or some weird support system living separate lives."

Any of those options sounded better than blatantly leaving a family behind.

"And what about you?" I asked him. "About us. Do you think we're strangely incompatible? Do you want to be acquaintances or be living separate lives?"

"Stop," he ordered. "I just think imprinting is strange because it is for me. And it's scary too, because loving someone so much and not knowing how to react to it is—"

"Stop making excuses."

"I'm not!" he replied. "I love you and it doesn't matter how natural it is for me, but everything I do in life has to deal with you now. No matter what happens or what horrible things I have to do, I have to keep you in mind. I already told you that you scare the hell out of me and I meant it. You're the only thing that scares me because that's what this bond dictates and some wolves can't handle it—hell, I can't even handle it."