Story Time & More Shit

Leave it in 2018 bitch

So bitches....I've been through hell and back within the last four months. As I predicted 2018 was not my year. I won't get into the details, because that's a story time for when I'm more stable, BUT I will give y'all something. Jay Versace inspired me to write this, so thank him :). Watch his fucking video now.   

Here's 10 things that need to die in 2018

(Disclaimer...I can't put no GIFS so imagine them hoe)

1) Fake Musicians 

A bitch is tired. Yes I'm muhhfucking ti'ed. I don't know who lied to y'all asses but EVERYBODY can't sing. EVERYBODY can't fucking rap. News flash... it's more jobs out here than uploading to soundcloud and youtube. Please leave this shit in 2018. If you really need to rap or sing...join the choir bitch. They take everybody. If you wanna rap...join the choir hoe. They take y'all too.

2) Pets

Bitch we just gon have to leave pets in 2018 if y'all can't figure out how to act. I am tired of y'all treating these dogs and cats better than yo child. Yes that's right...just put all y'all on blast. That fucking beagle, Lulu ain't no damn human. Lulu don't want to wear clothes and take pictures for instagram. Leave the fucking dog alone. Also stop taking exotic animals and turning them into pets. A FUCKING FLY AIN'T NO DAMN PET HOOOOEEEEEEEEEE. A FUCKING MONKEY AIN'T NO DAMN PETTTTTT. 

Oh and while I'm at it. If you bringing yo pet around everywhere talking about it's a support dog stop. That shit is not cute. People who actually need support animals can't bring they llamas on a plane. Stop that shit you fucking them up. 

Next :).

3) Dances

So I've been in a bubble for awhile. When I moved I saw a whole lot of stupid shit. Bitch how many dances y'all done thought of? What the hell is a woah? What the hell is a floss? What the hell y'all? Bring back the fucking whip and nae nae. Leave them stupid ass dances where they belong...in this trash ass year. 

4) Biker shorts

Why the hell we wearing biker shorts as shorts? Y'all look stupid. Periodt.

5)ASMR 

BITCH LEAVE THAT SHIT IN THE FUCKING TRASH. Y'all look STUPID eating and whispering into cameras hoes. If I get another video of someone eating a pickle, Ima beat yo ass. That shit is nasty and disgusting. 

6) Slime

Hoe who the fuck started this shit? I mean slime is cool, I don't mind it. But now y'all selling the shit? Come on what happened to selling dope? When kids get older we gon hear about selling slime to make a living. How y'all feel about that? 

10 years old on the block selling slime. Man that was a hard ass time. 

(Bars...I know.)

7) Drake and Kanye

BITCH LEAVE ITTTTTTTT!!! LEAVE THEEEEMMMM. Drake get on my nerves and Kanye is just not the Kanye I know. I'm telling you these Kardashians fuck black men up. Drake is just drake. We need to leave his fine ass where it belongs, in 2018/

8)All 10 million versions of Uno

BITCHHHH I CAN'T PLAY UNO FOR SHIT! WHERE ALL THESE RULES COME FROM? Y'all need to stop making up shit to win. Every time I play uno somebody end up in the back on a police car. So please leave y'all versions where it belongs. Let's come to a black universal set of rules and keep it there. 

9) Netflix

I had an intense conversation the other day about how netflix was better than hulu. That's a damn lie. NETFLIX SUCKS ASS COMPARED TO HULU. If you want real tv, and real movies get hulu hoe. Yes they have ads but if you don't want it pay a lil extra. That slime money gotta go towards something.

10) Titles

Mkay let me tell you something...I'm tired of being put in a box. I can be what I want and I don't need a title. Bitch if I wanna fuck with somebody I will and I don't need to call them my SO. Also I love who I want to love. I'm not bisexual, lesbian, straight, or whatever. If I like somebody guess what? I like them and I don't need something over my head to describe that bitch. So leave that shit with yo dirty ass in 2018 hoe.

I LOVEEE YALLLL ALLLOOOTTT! I miss y'all so much. I've just been going through it. I try to come on every once in awhile to write but I can't push myself to do it. For everyone worrying about me, know that I am okay. I'm not doing to great right now but by the work of God I'll make it through. I hope y'all had a amazing holiday season. Have an amazing new year y'all. 

Oh and one more thing...

DO NOT CROWD THE GYM THIS WEEK! I DO NOT CARE IF YOUR RESOLUTION IS TO BE MORE FIT! DO THAT SHIT AT HOME!!! NORMAL GYM GOERS NEED TO KEEP THE ROUTINE NOT WAIT IN LINE FOR Y'ALL.

That's right so I'm staying my fat ass at home until further notice. 

Anyways much love for y'all. Have a good new year for real. Love y'all hoes.