Story Time & More Shit

AW2Q & TTI: Sexuality

Grab ya tea
Grab ya popcorn
Grab ya edges
It's advice and story time 🙂

*So bith my phone broke 😂the letter C is refusing to type so y'all gotta excuse me. Sometimes it fixes with autocorrect but sometimes it wanna be a lil bith. Excuse my phone ;)*

HEYYYYY!!! I know my last update was hella boring. Sorry I just needed to let y'all know shit before I write a storytime and y'all oblivious to everything.

Now I know some of y'all about to cuss me the hell out. Listen 🤦🏾‍♀️I've been developing these advice entries but they just take forever. Y'all know my ass got a lot to say and I can't do that in 1000 words or less. Then I was like, ima combine them. I decided not to because each entry is special and shouldn't be Collided. For that reason I'm just going to add to the advice I've given most of you. Sorry y'all.

Well the other day I got a message. I read it and it actually made my heart break. I guess cause it hit close to home. I've experienced the exact same thing.

Question: *Ss it ause I ain't feel like typing it out*

Now if you know me, which you all should by now, you know I like girls. Hell I like whatever and whoever, but I do like females. If you know me you also know I'm not big on labels. You'll find out why in a few pages or so.

The story time is going to start right now, and then I'll get into the advice portion. This story time is very very personal. If you go to my school, or we actually know each other, you'll find out why I went missing for 4 months.

So a few months back, I started dating this girl. Ugh she was beautiful and amazing. We had been fucking around a few months back. We decided to get together August 22nd. I really liked this girl. Her crazy matched my crazy. Y'all know my crazy a lil over the top now, so she was one of a kind.

Well I didn't tell my parents. My parents are church going people. They are the stereotypical black parents. I refused to let them find out cause I already knew what was going to happen.

This guy really liked me. I however did not feel the same for him. Last summer he got mad when I wouldn't send him nudes, so I exposed his ashy ass. Needless to say he didn't like. He was one of the only people who knew that my parents didn't know I wasn't straight. He ended up telling my cousin. Well my cousin told his parents cause he thought it was a rumor.

Then all hell broke loose. I get home and my parents are already ready to kill my ass. My mother has a bible, and my father has a belt. I already knew they had found out. I didn't even try to resist.

My mother read the same bible verse she always read. I got lectured, and they took my phone. Well the next day I wake up to see, I'm moving out. Yes my parents were actually kicking my ass out. I was going to stay with my grandmother, who lives on the other side of town. My mother already unenrolled me and I was starting a new school. I never knew that they were going to be that strict.

When I was with my grandmother I couldn't do shit. She wouldn't let me talk to my friends, let me use my phone, or watch tv. I had to read the Bible and write notes. It was torture.

Don't get me wrong. I love God. I believe Jesus Christ is my savior, but this was unusual punishment.

Eventually I fell into a deep deep depression. I didn't talk to anybody, not even my siblings. I stayed to myself. I cried 24/7,  on the bus, in class, at home, and at church. It hurt. I was separated from everything I knew. I was being treated like a fucking monster for being homosexual.

My parents put me in a camp. That was the worst part. I will never forget going to a camp to learn how to not be gay. It was terrible.

Now I'm okay. I went to counseling, got on meds, and made a few friends. I'm not completely better. I still have my episodes of my parents words and the camp come back to hunt me. It still hurts.

I won't even lie, I contemplated suicide. Once I attempted it. I didn't want to live if I couldn't love. I thank God for stopping me everyday. He kept me and I truly thank him for that.

As for the advice, do what you want. You're parents are you're parents for 18 years. After that they have no control over who you become. They only determine who you become if you let them.

Love who you want to love. If your parents don't agree than so what. It might hurt for awhile knowing they don't approve, but if it's what you want to do, do it. Their supposed to love you through everything. If they can't love you if you're homosexual, heterosexual, transgender, intelligent, black, white, or ill, then that's their lose.

You're an amazing fucking person. You deserve the world and so much more. Don't let religion stop you from that. Love who you want to love.