May 5, 2014

29.

Chris

As I stared at Royalty playing with her castle I bought her a while back, I couldn't help but let my mind roam.

I wonder where we'd be had Sabrina stayed. Would we be this big happy family? Would she eventually be this wonderful mother to our daughter? Or if she had taken us along to her journey of fame, would we be at the top? Would bills really be the least of our worries?

Would India even play a part in my life at all?

Maybe she would've, maybe I'd need a nanny while Sabrina and I go on dates and vacations across the country.

Come to think about it, I wouldn't even wanna be famous. It's too much energy. It'd be hard to stay out of gossip, or to shut down rumors, you can't leave the house without the paparazzi watching you, you can't even shit in peace. I would just want the money.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about any of this but, since Sabrina has popped back up, she's all that has been on my mind lately— not in the 'I wonder if we'll get back together' or 'I wonder how she is' way, just her in general.

Part of me even feels good about how I threw her out the other day, she deserved it.

Flashback

"Surprise!" She smiled

"The fuck you want, Sabrina?"

"That's a way to greet someone you haven't seen in years." She said and rolled her eyes.

She had on all this fur. All this fucking fur. Brown fur coat, fur boots(shawty had them apple bottom jeansss, boots with the furrr! Sorry, I had to.. continue 🙂), a hat with fur on it, just a lot of fur. She had on some shades, and this big ass Gucci bag.

"Are you gonna let me in, it is kind of chilly!" She said and brushed past me before I could reply.

I closed the door behind her, "You look like a fucking fox— aht, get off my carpet wit' yo shoes, I don't know what you stepped in." I said and motioned for her to step back onto the rug where the shoes went.

"Sound like the typical Chris, always trying to crack jokes." She smiled while standing next to me.

"I'm not cracking any jokes, I'm dead ass serious. Now what you here for, what you want? I got somewhere to be." I said

"Where? To meet up with your girlfriend?" She smirked

"That's not what matters right now, what matters is why you here? You got 5 seconds to answer or I'm tossing yo ass out." I said

"Chris, relax, why so much hostility towards me?"

"You obviously keep forgetting you left me alone with our daughter to go fuck for fame— which I guess you finally got." I said and rolled my eyes

"I actually worked hard to be where I am now." She said

"Yeah, hard on yo knees and back." I mumbled

"What's with all these derogatory jokes?" She said and crossed her arms

"I mean, they not really jokes, Sabrina, you really did that shit to get where you are now— you practically confessed it to me the night you left, so let's not act like it ain't true. What are you really here for? I'm not about to go back and forth with you any longer." I said