Chapter twenty nine - shopping and bonding

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The next few days went pretty much the same. I was on bed rest, bored out of my mind and every once and awhile someone from the group would come and see me

"So now that your back on your feet and..." Patricia joins the group, giving her brother a pointed look "my brother hasn't swooped you up when are we going out"

"I'm free tonight" Maddie suggests

"I can't tonight I'm going back to work" I add

"Already?" Patricia asks

I play with my ring under the table "it's been over a month"

"Not since the accident" She responds

I shrug in return

I feel a hand comfortingly squeeze my knee and I look up to see Grayson looking at me with a concerned look "you don't have to go back yet" he whispers

I give him a weak smile "I'll be fine"

But will I? Will I be fine driving past the exact spot all my troubles started? Will I be fine locking up in the dark without looking over my shoulder? I don't know

The look in his eyes tell me he can see through my facade but I ignore it and pretend to zone in on the others conversation

I went back to the dorm a few hours later to get ready for work. I change into some workout clothes, the actions having become foreign to me

I knew Grayson would be back any minute so I left before he had the chance to catch me. Driving past the incident where everything happened was harder than I thought, I just assumed I would be able to ignore it but I was lying to myself

I flinched everytime someone walked down the path, the urge to tell them to run when I seen a black van drive past

"You're fine Emma, just go inside and distract yourself" I whispered to myself gripping my phone harder in my hand

The gym was as good as empty and I couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing

"Emma you're hear" My boss smiled "I need to pop out for a few hours and you're the only one working can you hold the fort?"

I nod a small smile plastered on my face

A fake smile

She gave me a quick goodbye and I was suddenly very much aware of every little sound and thing happening around me. The weights hitting the metal reminding me of the multiple weapons they used against me hitting the ground

The heavy breaths reminding me of all the times I tried to catch my breath - to keep breathing

It all became too much too soon and I had to force myself not to cry. I turned around to try go to the back when I ran into a hard chest

"Emma, are you okay?"

I looked up into Graysons worried eyes and shook my head "I thought I could do this"

He cupped my face with his hands and his thumb wiped a stray tear I never knew I let fall

"It's ok baby, I'm here" He rest his chin on the top of my head

"I have to stay" I whisper "this is my job"

"I'll stay too" he whispered back "we'll take it day by day"

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