yugyeom would be lying if he said he hadn't stayed up waiting to see when bambam would arrive. his brother had come home earlier than some days, but today he hadn't made his presence known by entering yugyeom's room and talking with him.
yugyeom isn't sure if he's glad for the quietness or whether he's angry because jaebum didn't feel like speaking with him. he decides not to overthink it, whatever. jaebum's probably in a mood.
above his mirror is an old clock that ticks, revealing with the help of the moonlight that it was half-past eleven at night.
the clock was given to him by his screenwriting teacher his junior year, when he first took his class. his teacher had said something about visiting a little town near rome during a meeting with his old friends and had seen the clock at a flea market.
it had reminded him of yugyeom and he'd gifted it to him on his birthday. yugyeom had cried in the silence of his room, an unlit candle on the tiny cake jackson and jinyoung had given him, holding the delicate wood of the old clock. it had been the best gift anyone had ever given him and yugyeom treasured it highly.
he looks up at it again, then at his messy reflection on the mirror. looking out the window he gets a sudden itch of wanting to smoke so yugyeom pulls the covers off his body, grabbing the record player and whatever mixtape was out in display inside the drawer.
he opens the door to his room carefully, quickly snags the last pack of cigarettes hidden behind a picture frame of a younger and smaller yugyeom and jaebum.
yugyeom pulls it down, grabbing the box before slipping on his sandals and walking out into the cool night air.
he shuts the door behind him, but not before nora comes rushing out and making herself comfortable on the step of the front.
"jaebum kick you out?" he asks. nora looks him up before curling her head over her tiny paws, yugyeom grins a little at the arrogant stunt nora pulled before sitting himself down next to her small figure.
the seoul moon looks bright in comparison to the barely lit stars scattered over the black sky. yugyeom picks up the tape he grabbed, thumbs the black lettering of the word asleep.
"ah, so tonight we shall delve into the wondrous world of The Smiths and The Beatles, am I right nora?" the cat meows and yugyeom huffs out a chuckle as he places it in between the space meant for it in his record tape player. he pulls on his headphones, clicking the play button and slowly humming along to the song.
the cheap lighter in his hands is too light and yugyeom frowns as he realizes that there's barely any gas left inside of it. he hopes there's enough for a cigarette.
the wind picks up, as if sensing an arrival. yugyeom lights up the cigarette and puffs in the smoke. orange embers fly out, grey ashes carefully falling apart.
the night is loud and bright, even with the music that yugyeom plays the wind rushes in through the headphones, beating like tiny wings and fluttering the leaves of the trees as a hum slowly begins to descend past the silent neighborhood, frogs and crickets synchronizing along with the song the outside sang.
nora picks her head up, green eyes narrowed on the silhouette of another moving cat. yugyeom held the cigarette between his pointer and middle finger, a tiny cloud rising a fog over his head. his eyes followed the movement of the cat, running across bambam's green lawn that wavered across the moonlight.
it duck underneath some bush and nora finally tucks her head back in, flicking her tail over yugyeom's thigh as if annoying him to pet her fur.
yugyeom snorts, mutters something about spoiled cats before allowing his free hand to run through her soft fur, glistening against the moon.
lights, dim yellow lights from the ground and not the lamps catch yugyeom's attention. he inhales another puff of smoke, curling beneath the shadows of his front porch as bambam's old and beaten up honda comes to view.
it drives slowly, almost as if hesitant of arriving to its final destination. no music pumps loudly like it had done in the late afternoon when he'd left on his date, only the sound of yugyeom's music barely echoing in the quiet night.
the car stops just before it reaches bambam's house, yugyeom has to squint his eyes to barely make out bambam's body. it looks like he's resting his head against the wheel, hands running through the strands of his hair.
yugyeom can feel the tips of his lips turning down as he narrows his eyes. he jumps in surprise when bambam looks up, shaking his head almost furiously.
suddenly there's the sound of squealing tires hitting against the gravel making nora jump in fright and hide behind yugyeom's body.
yugyeom lets go of the cigarette, steps on it to end its glowing tip. he holds his breath, eyes watching bambam's figure emerging out from his car.
bambam carefully shuts the door, his steps uneven and yugyeom can tell that he's drunk. disappointment and anger fill yugyeom and he forces himself to calm down and sink into Oh! Darling before he does something irrational like ask bambam why he's always doing things for people just to look cool.
nora must sense his troubled thoughts since she begins to rub her tiny head against the cloth of his shirt. it calms him down and when yugyeom turns to look back up he finds bambam staring at his house, particularly at yugyeom's window that's shut close with the ghost of his curtains.
something inside of yugyeom unravels a knot, falling apart under the gaze of bambam who stares at his window, hands in his pocket and a contemplated expression over his face.
the way his shoulders shook and how his steps wobbled as he took a few steps ahead suggested to yugyeom that bambam wasn't drunk.
he was crying.
the song ends and yugyeom presses the pause button, the noise of the crickets and the barely there sound of a car honking separating the space between yugyeom and bambam.
yugyeom decided on calling him, wanting – needing to know what bambam meant with his compliment from a few weeks ago, the desperation of needing to know what the fuck bambam meant with his i don't really roll her way that was eating yugyeom's thoughts.
but something stops yugyeom from doing so. perhaps it's the way that bambam shivers violently even with no cold air or maybe in how he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off from yugyeom's bedroom window.
whatever it is, yugyeom held back from calling him out. bambam removes his hands from his pockets and wipes his face, he smiled choppy and so unlike himself, as if a little lonely and yet content about it being that way.
he stretched out his arms toward the sky in a curious move before one came down and began waving gently at yugyeom's window.
involuntarily yugyeom turns to look at his window, wondering about a million different reasons why bambam had done that. nora meows and yugyeom looks down, grabbing his record player and cigarette pack.
when he looks back to where bambam had been he had vanished, and yugyeom was once again alone in the loud darkness.
YOU ARE READING
black holes.
Fanfiction"but have you seen that boy, he makes the sun come to its knees every night."
