i see a girl on tv and she is
dumb, mean, and ugly.
she's comedic relief she is
brown like me.
the protagonist is kind, intelligent,
humble, witty. her quirks are admirable,
her charisma undeniable she is
pale and lovely.
i liked a boy once, a tragedy from the beginning.
i think he liked me too, but nothing ever came of that. he said he did not go for girls who were brown
like me. he said it wasn't personal, but i took it personally. i've been told by both close relatives and complete strangers that i'm pretty for a brown girl (but stay out of the sun!) i do not think people understand how venemous such a sweetly coated compliment can be on the self esteem of girls who are brown like me. and i wonder:
why is it that brown is bad? impure? dirty?
when did white become synonymous with
sacred? clean and holy?
i was taught to hate myself from the ages of 9 and above. the media (a direct reflection of society) told me my nose was too flat, my hair too wild, my eyes too small, my skin too brown
too brown?
honey, caramel. earthen shades of tan, bronze, and dark brown; all hues kissed by the sun so lovingly.
the color white girls pay hundreds of dollars for, only to end up an oxidized shade of orange.
the color passed down to me by generations that hold so much knowledge and history that i may never know due to the erasure of culture in exchange for fair and lovely.
again i say
too brown?
because if i may go back in time and tell myself one thing, it would be this:
there is no such thing as too brown. too brown like it's a bad thing. greet the sun's kisses with a warm embrace and marvel at the way emerald green and all shades of red flatter your every movement. see your features not as flaws, but as features that make your face unique. how your nose fits so nicely with the rest of your face, how your eyes sparkle when you smile, how your skin glows in the sun.
they'll tell you brown is dirty, horrible things about how unlucky you are to be burdened with such brown skin, how ugly. but remember this:
brown is lovely.
brown is lovely.
brown is lovely.
