Love.

{Twenty-six} He really wants this.

AN: Long. Very mature (warning in text).

*****

"Live through feeling and you will live through love. For feeling is the language of the soul, and feeling is truth."

- Matt Zotti.

*****

I can't wait to go away with you.

Ant sees Dec's excited face in front of him, telling him exactly that for the probably hundredth time over the last two weeks. And damn, he can't believe that he is really packing his suitcase right now. That this is finally happening.

And it's weird, but nothing has really changed over the last two weeks, everything has kind of gone back to normal and they all have calmed down a bit and have arranged themselves with the situation.

There were even a few more little talks with Lisa and also with Dec and also with all three of them together - and this time they really talked. But it was mainly about appointments and work and schedules regarding all that. Nothing as severe as their first talk. Thank goodness.

So Ant is relieved and he thinks it's good that things are quite calm now. And he is especially thankful for Dec, because he knows how much he wanted this, and even more so how long he has longed for this to happen, and yet he is amazing in giving it time and giving them all space to come to terms with everything.

I can't wait to go away with you.

Ant remembers the countless times they have cuddled over the last two weeks whenever they were alone. He remembers the tender kisses they exchanged and he realises hell, there really were some changes after all.

Because thinking back now, he can't even believe that they went through all this trouble, because damn, it's all somehow so easy all of a sudden. All the confusion is gone and yes, they will need a lot more time to get used to this - all three of them really. But this is going into a direction he really really likes. Just enjoying this new closeness with Dec, being so in love and really let it happen, all this cuddling and kissing.

And as he stands in his room, trying to find the right things to pack, it really hits him that he is finally going away with Dec, this is just them two, it's kind of the first proper date for them since that conversation.

Of course, they have spent a lot of time together over the last two weeks, but almost all of that time was because of work. And well, everything is still the same there. They are professionals after all, and very careful. Also because well, Ant is still very careful with Dec and all this new stuff in general.

Besides that, Ant is still always with Lisa in the evenings, and of course he knows they have to have another conversation about that, because he wants to spend some nights with Dec as well of course.

But after all, it's only been a short amount of time since the talk and they have to still find their way and at the moment it's the way things are and they all seem to be fine with it. They just need a bit more time to get used to everything, without pressure and without tension in the air. And then Ant can maybe also spend some nights with Dec, although he is incredibly nervous about it.

Especially, because Ant is still so anxious about actually spending a night with Dec. And yes, he means exactly that with it. And he is so happy that Dec understands all that, he really is amazing. And actually, Ant feels his desire for that increasing as well. Damn, of course he wants this all, it's all so exciting, but somehow it's also a time that is quite scary with all the changes going on.