ROADSIDE FLOWERS ( t. kageyama )

xvi. necklace chains

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roadside flowers.
chapter 16: necklace chains

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"our opponent is johzenji," taiyou-senpai begins as he stands on top of a bench in the middle of the locker room. "although our goal is shiratorizawa, let's not discard johzenji as a simple step. every game counts, every game will be won. we prepared for this, we are strong. we'll defeat them all! karasuno, fight!"

everyone hoots and yells and claps, the atmosphere vaguely reminiscent of a party preparing to set off. except for the fact that an unmentioned thought is floating on everyone's mind. for the third years, for taiyou-senpai, for yukari-senpai, for aichi, for matsuoka-senpai, this is their last high school tournament. and for the juniors, it is their last chance to fight alongside their seniors.

they cannot afford to lose.

"the game will begin in ten minutes," our adviser says in his usual montone as he enters the locker room. "do your best."

taiyou-senpai orders me to prepare the banner with the supporters of karasuno since i'm going to sit with them later on. the basketball association only allows the coach, and one manager in the bench, and since our coach (adviser, really) is present, i will have to sit above.

before i leave, i look for rintaro to tell him good luck and when i spot him, a dilemma is created. he's talking to aichi about basketball and i don't know if i should push forward with saying good luck to rintaro and ignoring aichi. for one thing, i should be saying that to both of them, but it frightens me a little, guessing what aichi's response will be.

i take a deep breath and clench my shaking fists. i plan the conversation i'm going to have in my head. first i'll tell rintaro good luck and respond to whatever line he says in the usual way and once we finish chatting, i'll repeat it and add a casual good luck to aichi too. i won't need to weigh out his reactions because i'll hurry in leaving. it will be short and simple. if he does decide to leave during my conversation with rintaro, i'll tell him the words before he leaves.

this will work, i tell myself as i squeeze the hem of my blouse.

this will have to work, i tell myself as i take another step forward.

i stop. or maybe i'll leave without telling anyone good luck, i'm sure my thoughts have been conveyed somehow. maybe rintaro is already thinking about the match, i'd hate to pester him out of his concentration, i mean he probably already knows that i'm supporting him, i think i have made that clear. maybe i should just leave him be, that's right- i shake my head. that isn't it. i will not run away from such a trivial thing.

i take another step, followed by another and another until i reach an appropriate distance from the two of them. at this, i can tell that they're talking about something universities with good basketball scholarship.

maybe i should go back- i squeeze the hem of my blouse tighter, squeezing my eyes shut, opening them and, "r-rintaro," i call for my friend who is surprised by my presence, but the emotions displayed in his eyes immediately turn to glee.

"what is it?" he asks with another bright grin.

"good luck... on the match later," i say and add, "do your... best."

"of course!"

it doesn't seem like he's going to be prolonging conversation (my agony) so i decide to set off with greeting my brother. i turn to aichiro and try to avert eye contact, but fail at doing so because if i do, i'll be in rintaro's scope and he'll rant on about my speech problems again.